Having a bad day.. What's the piont

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Linton, Sep 8, 2019.

  1. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    129
    Hi to anyone out there. I'm a carer for my OH with Lewy body dementia having a bad day.. I keep so many things on track, both financial and practical.. Usually I do OK.. Most of the time up at 4 and sometimes 2or3 I've got used to the lack of sleep and the hallucinations.. Feel I'm doing OK but sometimes it feels like I'm walking in treacle and getting nowhere.. And days like this when things go wrong I wonder how I can cope in the future.. I know I'm wallowing in self pity and it will pass, but sometimes the thought of what's to come is so depressing...
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,896
    Kent
    Some days we cope and others get us down @Linton and it amazes me how many days we manage to cope.

    Are you getting any help? If not why not see if any is available for you.
     
  3. pevensey

    pevensey Registered User

    Feb 14, 2012
    215
    Female
    South East Coast.
    I really feel for you Linton, it's so soul destroying the job we do as carers, and the bad days definitely outnumber the good days.
    The days when you feel like going back to bed and sleeping through everything, oh the bliss that would be. My hubby goes to day centre on a Monday so I really look forward to that, but that few hrs goes so quickly, he wouldn't be able to get out at all if he didnt go there, so it's a godsend for him and for me. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you Linton. Take and be good to
    YOURSELF.
     
  4. pixie2

    pixie2 Registered User

    Jul 21, 2018
    39
    I am having a bad day too. In tears again. Mam thinks its day not bed time. Been arguing with carers and me. Care plan, house sale, hates care home, shes in pain, cried as i left her etc etc etc. So overwhelming and i have job problems and friend problems too. Nobody understands. Im thoroughly ashamed to say im glad its not just me. Love to all xx
     
  5. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,908
    Female
    Scotland
    Someone posted on here recently “This too shall pass” and I try to make that my motto now when dealing with a bad day. My husband is now in his seventh year since diagnosis so a lot of the worst times are behind us and he is now frail and not very mobile. Most mornings he is compliant with showering and then he will have a day where he will resist everything. No trigger, no reason, no sense. Dealing with these tense situations is wearing and frustrating and you need to hang on to your own sanity to get through. May the powers that be help you all.
     
  6. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    129
     
  7. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    129
    Thanks grannyG... Still finding my way around this forum... And will take your advice...
     
  8. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    129
     
  9. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    129
    Thanks to everyone for their thoughts.. It makes such a huge difference to find support and encouragement.. Hoping for a better day today..
     
  10. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,814
    Female
    South coast
    Having a bad day is not wallowing in self pity - its just something that happens when caring and everything becomes too much. Its not your fault - its the fault of dementia.

    I hope today is a better day and you can start to find some extra help
     
  11. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,519
    Xxx
     
  12. Starbright

    Starbright Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    451
    Female
    Morning @marionq ...it’s the same here .....most days my oh will not agree to anything however I do change the bed and shower him every other day and he doesn’t mind that..however ask him if he will go to daycentre or carers cafe and the like ,just no chance “I’m not sitting with a load of old people “ (( he’s 81)).” Besides there’s nothing wrong with me”.
    Here’s the list Mixed dementia Vascular more predominant, Chronic asthma, dodgy kidney, prostate problem, oestoporosis in his spine, arthritic hip operation looming shortly.
    I’m venting sorry ..but it is what it is so they say.

    @Linton...I know how feel hope your having a better day today.
     
  13. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,519
    Pleased that you are on here, we all have out ups and down, perhaps not the club we would have chosen but I have met really lovely people some are closer than friends are. We speak the same language, people with no experience of dementia just cannot really understand. Alice
     
  14. Starbright

    Starbright Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    451
    Female
    Thank you .Alice...I don’t often post I’m one of the lurkers but it always helps to read TP so much help and good advice ((( Hugs))) A x
     
  15. Reman

    Reman Registered User

    Jan 21, 2018
    27
    Its funny how some day you can cope other days impossible, today very tired after been woken three times in the night, So having a cup of tea and a huge slice of chocolate cake! feeling slightly queasy takes your mind off the responsibilities of caring!!!
     
  16. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    129
     
  17. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    129
    Hi
     
  18. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    129
    Hi starlight.. Feel more positive today thanks to all the people who responded.. Like you my OH wouldn't be happy going to a day centres.. not a "joiner".. Always been happy doing things on his own or with family.. Doesn't put himself in the bracket of "old".. Nearly 80... What can you do.. On and off today thinks I'm someone else.. But I'm coping better today.. A day at a time xx
     
  19. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    129
     
  20. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    129
    Sorry got your tag wrong starbright
     

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