I know that we all hate what dementia does to our loved ones but I am beginning to hate what it's doing to me.
As I've said before my partner is quite far through the dementia journey. He is physically quite well but is now pretty well incontinent,cannot communicate as his words make no sense,sleeps a lot,and doesn't seem to understand what's being said to him. He would go and wander if I didn't keep the doors locked. He also has nights when he is up and wandering round the house for hours.
He is a shadow of himself ,as he was the life and soul of a gathering,liked to joke and had a great sense of humour.
I would freely admit that being a carer does not come easily to me. I find that I am becoming more impatient with him. It's often the small things that tip the balance. For example, he has to be properly ready for bed with incontinence pad etc but often refuses to get changed. Getting him ready can take a while. In the mornings he will refuse to wear what I've laid out,spends hours in wet pyjamas before he'll get dressed. Yesterday we had an episode with a soiled incontinence pad which he'd laid on the table! I had to make him have a shower to get cleaned up as he was smeared in excrement.
I find myself getting annoyed with him and at times being downright horrible . I seem to be always having to tell him what to do or not to do. Once I've had an outburst I vow not to repeat it but the 24/7 responsibility gets me down. I feel guilty as I feel I should be making his days more pleasant but there is so little he is able to do. Even TV programmes don't mean much to him now. He sleeps through a lot of it. We can't have visitors because of Covid or even go out for a coffee . I feel stuck in an endless loop .
I wish I could make life better for him.
As I've said before my partner is quite far through the dementia journey. He is physically quite well but is now pretty well incontinent,cannot communicate as his words make no sense,sleeps a lot,and doesn't seem to understand what's being said to him. He would go and wander if I didn't keep the doors locked. He also has nights when he is up and wandering round the house for hours.
He is a shadow of himself ,as he was the life and soul of a gathering,liked to joke and had a great sense of humour.
I would freely admit that being a carer does not come easily to me. I find that I am becoming more impatient with him. It's often the small things that tip the balance. For example, he has to be properly ready for bed with incontinence pad etc but often refuses to get changed. Getting him ready can take a while. In the mornings he will refuse to wear what I've laid out,spends hours in wet pyjamas before he'll get dressed. Yesterday we had an episode with a soiled incontinence pad which he'd laid on the table! I had to make him have a shower to get cleaned up as he was smeared in excrement.
I find myself getting annoyed with him and at times being downright horrible . I seem to be always having to tell him what to do or not to do. Once I've had an outburst I vow not to repeat it but the 24/7 responsibility gets me down. I feel guilty as I feel I should be making his days more pleasant but there is so little he is able to do. Even TV programmes don't mean much to him now. He sleeps through a lot of it. We can't have visitors because of Covid or even go out for a coffee . I feel stuck in an endless loop .
I wish I could make life better for him.