Your rant is understandable; it is an expression of your pain and I can empathize with you. My husband passed at the beginning of April and I turned 56 mid-April. My friends and co-workers spoiled me and lifted my spirits for the day, and I am grateful, but when the day passed I am still left trying to figure out what comes next. How do I pick up the pieces and rebuild my life? I can't even get back to going to the gym yet which I really enjoyed but at the moment have no energy for. Work-home-sleep, that is life at the moment, and sometimes sleep doesn't come easy either.
I too have many years ahead, and still can't quite grasp that he will not be here to share them with me. I knew this time was coming, but you really can't prepare for it.
One day at a time. That is all we can do. Take one day at a time to heal and find our way.
Sending you a hug, and hopes that tomorrow is a little easier on you.