Had enough today.

[rosy18]

Jorgie hope you managed to go for your lunch and more importantly enjoy it x

Took Mum to singing yesterday but she had bad afternoon really confused seeing all sorts of people and not understanding she's at home.Anyway GP called this morning to tell me that Mums urine sample from last week had come back from hospital as positive so confirming Mum did have uti (I told them fri she definitely had one) but as she's had so many lately they wanted to make sure of the antibiotics so finally got 7 day course 2 a day.In the past the uti's have made her quite aggressive but lately she has just been, although very confused exhausted.

Mollyd, HillyBilly, LadyA, Harrys'd, Marnie hope you all have a good a night as poss.xx

 

[Lavender45]

Oh Rosy you must be worn out with it all. I have no idea how you are coping. Hope this new lot of antibiotics clear this most recent UTI in double quick time and that your mum has then seen the last of the UTIs for a very long time. X

 

[Lavender45]

Worrier how did you get on, did you have to go home? Hoping all is ok. X

 

[Lavender45]

Worrier - how was your dad after this morning's issue?

JP - hope you had a lovely lunch out.

Lavender - poor you, I do hope you start to feel better soon.

Thank you. Xxx

 

[Pollytickle]

Hi Rosy *waves to all assembled* yes, thank you! All was well
My name works for me in so many ways...Mum & Dad's pet names for each other primarily plus, I did one of those aptitude tests a couple of years back & it said I should be a politician & if you change the way you say it, it becomes pol it ic al :

Those new nighties have washed up beautifully - they had a fair bit of dressing - which has reminded me to look up those sheets you mentioned LadyA. I noticed waterproof sheets during my previous browsing but wondered about getting them dry after laundering as there's no outdoor drying here

It's become dull & damp this past half hour (south coast) & such a noticeable change from the Spring-like weather of the past week or so. My father-in-law was proud of the fact it had snowed on his April birthday a couple of times & my parents had blizzard conditions during a break on the Isle of Wight one June so I know the Great British Weather will have her own way At least when the sun shines, you don't have to put the lights on quite as early do you

 

[Lavender45]

That's good news she has gone onto a Section 3. If you don't know it means she then leaves hospital on s117 funding which means CH of whatever sort is paid for. From what I've seen on the she will likely need a specialist dementia home.

Have you tried manuka honey to boost your immune system. And I take echinacea when I have a cold. Had one for 4 weeks now which I caught in work so a lot of it going round.

Thanks JM. I'll have a look for the honey and for the 117 advice. Both very welcome. The consultant and the social worker mentioned 117 aftercare. You are right mum the sad fact is that mum is a lot calmer, but the consultant feels that EMI Nursing Homes are mum's only option. I was hoping we could look at EMI residential simply because it would give much more choice, but it's not to be. X

 

[Spamar]

Lavender, the manuka homies available are not all the same. Having tried the real thing, from NZ, the first one I tried in this country didn't taste authentic and didn't do much for me. One from Essex, well known firm, seems much better and works! Friend of mine found the same thing! There are others, but haven't tried them.
It's an acquired taste, btw.

 

[Lavender45]

It's an acquired taste, btw.

How bad??? I'll definitely bare your advice in mind. It's certainly worth a try, anything which keeps me cold free for more than a day or two will be very, very welcome! X

 

[LadyA]

Hi Rosy *waves to all assembled* yes, thank you! All was well
My name works for me in so many ways...Mum & Dad's pet names for each other primarily plus, I did one of those aptitude tests a couple of years back & it said I should be a politician & if you change the way you say it, it becomes pol it ic al :

Those new nighties have washed up beautifully - they had a fair bit of dressing - which has reminded me to look up those sheets you mentioned LadyA. I noticed waterproof sheets during my previous browsing but wondered about getting them dry after laundering as there's no outdoor drying here

It's become dull & damp this past half hour (south coast) & such a noticeable change from the Spring-like weather of the past week or so. My father-in-law was proud of the fact it had snowed on his April birthday a couple of times & my parents had blizzard conditions during a break on the Isle of Wight one June so I know the Great British Weather will have her own way At least when the sun shines, you don't have to put the lights on quite as early do you

I don't have a tumble dryer. I dry everything indoors in the winter. Kylie sheets aren't plastic though (no annoying crackly sounds!) Expensive enough to buy initially, but can be boil washed. The Kylie sheets don't cover the whole bed. I just used single size ones turned lengthwise- worked much better that way.

Sent from my Moto G Play using Talking Point mobile app

 

[fedup.com]

New to this Forum. Dad diag with Alz Oct 2015. VERY fed up and exhausted!!!

Hi all. I have spent all day today reading through so many posts and I cant believe it took me this long to find this TP.
I don't even know where to start really but I am fed up, angry, exhausted, resentful and have reached my limit --for now.
I have a 78 yr old dad who has Alz and it has been an incredibly difficult 18 months so far. I myself have spent the last 4 years battling something called Graves Disease which nearly took me out a couple of times but I fought and fought to defeat it, and it has been challenging. I have a 25 year old son who has self diagnosed Aspergers and I have a 19 year old son who dropped out of A levels, fired from several jobs but now in part time college which he never seems to attend...on top of all that I have my mum who has blood cancer and I was married to someone who I now know to be a narcissistic psychopath.
All this combined have made for an extremely difficult number of years before my dads diagnosis, after which I gave up my entire life to care for him (he is bed bound and double incontinent, living in sheltered accommodation)

I am exhausted even just having written this much.
For now I want to thank you all for being brutally honest, for sharing your private hellishness and for your humour too. I shall post more in a couple of days but I am glad to have finally found somewhere I can vent without recourse!!!

 

[CeliaW]

Not sure how I can help but just wanted to give you a supportive hug fedup x

Sent from my SM-G361F using Talking Point mobile app

 

[Lavender45]

Oh Fedup you have so much to deal with, I'd be way, way beyond exhausted.

This is a very safe place to vent and we do say it how it is without having to pretend that everything is ok when it really isn't.

I'll be looking out for your posts, I just wanted to say hello and welcome for now. x

 

[MollyD]

Hello everyone.

Rosy, glad the results are back and that you finally got antibios for your mum. Hope they help quickly.

Lavender, oh, hope you can rest yourself with that cold. I know, easy said. As you say, your immune sysrem is shot because you've been run ragged with crisis and worry.

Worrier, how is your dad now? X

Just trying to keep abreast, wishing everyone a peaceful or manageable night at least.

Jorgie (((hugs))) xxx

 

[MollyD]

Oh, Fedup. Warm welcome. Sorry you needed to find this place but I'm glad you feel you've space here now.

God, you're dealing with so much. X

Sent from my HUAWEI RIO-L01 using Talking Point mobile app

 

[Amy in the US]

Has anyone heard from Worrier? I'm feeling concerned…

 

[jorgieporgie]

Morning.
Fedup Welcome, I don't know what to say you poor girl going through all this. I am glad you have found us and you can vent as much as you want on here. Someone is always around to talk to.
Worrier hope everything is ok x
Molly big hugs back xx
Lavender hope your feeling a lot better today x
Rosy, Marnie, hillybilly and everyone else hope all is good at your end.x
Have a peaceful day x

 

[Marnie63]

Yes, unusual to not hear from Worrier for a days. Hope you are OK Worrier, and your dad too of course - ?

Rosy - it sounds like your mum's level of confusion is similar to my mum's, but mine is beyond participating in anything. I did try her at a day centre (twice, two different places), but she banged on the door at one looking for me/trying to get out and after about 4/5 sessions at the other one (a very large care/nursing home with many dementia patients and, I guess, loads of experience) they called me to say they couldn't pacify her. I am the only one who can and it's extreeeeemly wearing, to say the least! I guess some day, down the line, if this continues, then there may come a time when she will be unaware of my presence any more. That will be the time I can start getting some of my life back. I'm not wishing for that, but I think it's the only way I'll ever start getting any freedom from my 'imprisonment by dementia'. I hate this effing disease SO much and I HATE the fact it's eating into the prime years of my life.

These days I feel constantly tired and never seem to catch up with myself. The mental exhaustion seems to be affecting me physically now and I find I can't get to sleep at night as I'm so restless and I keep waking up, thinking I'm hearing mum moving around, but I seem to be dreaming these noises. You know when you get off a long flight and feel slightly drunk/dizzy (even without alcohol!) and it usually takes a day or two to spring back to normal, well I feel like that all the time now. I don't know what I can do to make this better, I don't think there is any answer. The only free time I have is when I go out for a few hours to work, or when the carer is here and I pop out for a few hours for appointments or shopping, or when mum goes to bed - and then I have to try to get some sleep myself! Last night I put her to bed earlier and tried to have some 'down time' in front of the TV, but then I had to have it on so quiet, for fear of waking her, that I couldn't her anything. This situation just eats into every aspect of the carer's life. It's awful, I hate it. My mum has become a 90 year old baby, which needs entertaining and supervision the whole bloody time, and of course does not understand that I have needs too.

Phew, feel a bit better for that rant!

Hope everyone else is having an OK day. Very windy here, not look forward to the storm tomorrow (Doris?!).

 

[jorgieporgie]

Marnie glad you got that off your chest. I know how you feel not been able to watch the TV just pandering to your Mum's needs and the wishing you had your life back.
But I can assure you I wished the same but now I have got it feel empty, lost and full of anxiety that I don't want to move out the house much. I seem to have gone inwards and its not healthy. The holidays I planned and things I wanted to do have just gone out the window.
This hatred illness dose ruin our lives and even when it is over its still dose, for how long I don't know.
Maybe we have all done to much of a good job that we forgot that we have to live as well. If you get the chance to go away and recharge your batteries you do.

 

[Marnie63]

Sorry JP - it's always tricky having a rant when you are very conscious that others have lost their PWDs and would probably do anything to get them back. I have this vision of (when all of this is over) booking loads of holidays and having a whale of a time, but the reality will probably be closer to what you are going through - a long period of 'hibernation' before I can 'move on'. It's just so bloody relentless though and sometimes I can't see the wood for the trees as I'm so tired.

Maybe you should book something JP - then you'll have something to look forward to, and that may help focus your mind on something else, other than the grieving? Don't mean to belittle your grief at all but, maybe having some plans would help? I guess it's all about summoning up the energy to get on with things. How is your health? I seem to remember you were in some pain? Hope you are feeling a bit better.

I guess this is what real life is all about, dealing with things like this. But, it's not nice, not nice at all.

 

[Spamar]

Lavender, it's earthy in the main. Not, to me, horrible, it's just different!
Sorry so long replying, but was out last night and most of today!