My mum is 77 and has Alzheimers for nearly 9 years. I am her main carer and have 5 sisters and 1 brother all older than me. I am 34, work full time and try to have some sort of a normal life but it isnt always easy. My family have left me to care for my mum even though all but one of them leaves in the same town and two are unemployed and two work part-time. I have been looking after mum in different ways since I was a teenager, she was clinically depressed and was a binge drinker before Alzheimers took her. I lived at home until I was 30 when I finally had to make a decision, my sanity or staying at home and I chose sanity, I moved out, got a place of my own and continued to look after mum. I had relationships in the past that all failed due to the fact that my partner had to take on my mum and me and they could never cope with being second best. I get no help or support from my family, my mum is constantly difficult and as much as I love her it gets me down. She depends on me and is constantly demanding my attention, when I am away from her she calls me constantly wanting to know where i am and when i will be back. I have now met a wonderful man who is everything a loving, understanding partner should be and he understands my situation. He lives in another country and is prepared to move and give up his life to live in my world. I hate my world so how can I ask someone to share it!!!
I want a life of my own with a wonderful partner, get married and do all the things normal couples do but feel I will never have this and my family are quite prepared to see me give up my life to look after our mother and even before my mum had Alzheimers she was quite prepared to let me give up my life to be with her. I feel so guilty that I want this and sometimes just want to run away and never come back but it would kill my mum and I left feeling resentful against my mum and angry at my family and dont know what to do.
Has anyone else been in a similar position or is there any way of striking a balance? Would appreciate any advice or comments.
I want a life of my own with a wonderful partner, get married and do all the things normal couples do but feel I will never have this and my family are quite prepared to see me give up my life to look after our mother and even before my mum had Alzheimers she was quite prepared to let me give up my life to be with her. I feel so guilty that I want this and sometimes just want to run away and never come back but it would kill my mum and I left feeling resentful against my mum and angry at my family and dont know what to do.
Has anyone else been in a similar position or is there any way of striking a balance? Would appreciate any advice or comments.