Wow! I just joined and read almost all posts in hope to find and answer...Of course, found many and none...
I'll start with that I don't live in th UK and in my country care for people with dementia orAlzheimer are non-existent. There are maybe homes for such people but are are extremely costly and as far as I have heard - care is far from real care. People are just let to slowly die, losing their dignity and human face.
anyway, my mom was diagnosed with dementia 5 years ago and since then has deteriorized fast, with all the package of delusions, paranoia, aggrssion, accusations and the likes. I care for her myself, losing my business, my several jobs, friends, any social or other life. I have been strong enough to cope and most of the time it was bad for me, but me only.
Since recently, my mom's anxiety levels rose, for no reasons as anything else, which now make going out for groceries and walking the dog a nightmare, since she starts shouting form the windows to passers-by that she's been held prisoner, left alone and so on. The people in our building are starting to complain, I give her medications prescribed by the GP for dementia anxiety and stuff, but things do not change. it happens when I am home, too, but at least I am home and can address the issue. I am home 24/7 with exceptions of walking the dog and grocery shopping. i have tried taking my mom with me, but she refuses most of the time and even when I've managed to take her out, after that she seems more disoriented and with more paranoias, as anything new that she sees or hears creates new fears and concerns.
Most of the days she begs me to give her something so she can die. Guilty as charged, I have often thought that would be better for all. But then, I feel guilty of these feeling as well as I feel guilty that I cannot really help much.
I am getting panicking myself lately, because besides the everyday pre-heart-attack conditions, I am strongly worried how my life will continue with or without her. I am afraid I may go before her and equally I am afraid that if she lives long (the life-expectancy calculator said she will live 91 years, and she is still 82 now), I will be over 60...and then what?
Guilty as charged, I feel and think these things and then feel even more terrible and bad person for thinking them...
Is this dementia a diagnose for the care-givers, too?
Is it the end of the care-givers' life?
In my country, people are ashamed to talk about that.
I was thinking of creating a support fund or society that can discuss thigs freely and give support to both patients and care-givers. But I do not know how to do it
Please, share anything that you think or know. I will be grateful for any advice on any topic...
Thanks ofr reading!
I'll start with that I don't live in th UK and in my country care for people with dementia orAlzheimer are non-existent. There are maybe homes for such people but are are extremely costly and as far as I have heard - care is far from real care. People are just let to slowly die, losing their dignity and human face.
anyway, my mom was diagnosed with dementia 5 years ago and since then has deteriorized fast, with all the package of delusions, paranoia, aggrssion, accusations and the likes. I care for her myself, losing my business, my several jobs, friends, any social or other life. I have been strong enough to cope and most of the time it was bad for me, but me only.
Since recently, my mom's anxiety levels rose, for no reasons as anything else, which now make going out for groceries and walking the dog a nightmare, since she starts shouting form the windows to passers-by that she's been held prisoner, left alone and so on. The people in our building are starting to complain, I give her medications prescribed by the GP for dementia anxiety and stuff, but things do not change. it happens when I am home, too, but at least I am home and can address the issue. I am home 24/7 with exceptions of walking the dog and grocery shopping. i have tried taking my mom with me, but she refuses most of the time and even when I've managed to take her out, after that she seems more disoriented and with more paranoias, as anything new that she sees or hears creates new fears and concerns.
Most of the days she begs me to give her something so she can die. Guilty as charged, I have often thought that would be better for all. But then, I feel guilty of these feeling as well as I feel guilty that I cannot really help much.
I am getting panicking myself lately, because besides the everyday pre-heart-attack conditions, I am strongly worried how my life will continue with or without her. I am afraid I may go before her and equally I am afraid that if she lives long (the life-expectancy calculator said she will live 91 years, and she is still 82 now), I will be over 60...and then what?
Guilty as charged, I feel and think these things and then feel even more terrible and bad person for thinking them...
Is this dementia a diagnose for the care-givers, too?
Is it the end of the care-givers' life?
In my country, people are ashamed to talk about that.
I was thinking of creating a support fund or society that can discuss thigs freely and give support to both patients and care-givers. But I do not know how to do it
Please, share anything that you think or know. I will be grateful for any advice on any topic...
Thanks ofr reading!