Hi and thanks for all your wise and kind words.
I really don't feel depressed just tired obviously. But take on board comments about blocking it all out during the day and then getting hit with it all when I finally relax at the end of the day. It brings me back to the funeral when all I could think about was that line from Gone With the Wind (mum's favourite movie of all time) "I can't think about that now, if I do I'll go crazy, I'll think about that tomorrow after all.......' sure I don't need to finish that one off for you all.
So you avoid tomorrow for as long as you can, well I do anyway.
Hazel, I don't mind admitting that I shed a tear once in a while. Still happens every time I get in the car after visting dad leaving him all alone looking so vunerable. Had a lot of tears over the years and 'car screaming' so know it helps to let it all out. Car screaming and pillow sceaming was passed onto me by one of the old moderators sheila - it works wonders and is a great release.
I put off thinking about mum last few year as there is just too much to take in, not just the death but mum's emotional situation before she died and knowing how sad she felt about dad. Something she never managed to come to terms with before she died. We touched on it a lot, but mum never had time to grieve or get any closure and that right now is too hard to think about. I see no point in torturing myself with things that cannot be changed and it is hard to remember the good times right now.
We are looking into scattering the ashes over the next month so that will probably help. All a process that you can never prepare for. You just find yourself leaping from caring day-to-day for someone you love and being full of worrying to a very empty place. It is such a contrast without an imbetween space.
From my experience and following many on talking point, time is the only healer and this is never a short process.
Kindest Regards and thanks again.
It is good to talk and that is one thing I'm very good at ;-)
Craig
Edited: Mameeskye we cross posted. Just to say thanks for your comment and reassurance regarding the broken sleep. Good to know it is normal. I'll give it another couple of weeks and see the GP.
I really don't feel depressed just tired obviously. But take on board comments about blocking it all out during the day and then getting hit with it all when I finally relax at the end of the day. It brings me back to the funeral when all I could think about was that line from Gone With the Wind (mum's favourite movie of all time) "I can't think about that now, if I do I'll go crazy, I'll think about that tomorrow after all.......' sure I don't need to finish that one off for you all.
So you avoid tomorrow for as long as you can, well I do anyway.
Hazel, I don't mind admitting that I shed a tear once in a while. Still happens every time I get in the car after visting dad leaving him all alone looking so vunerable. Had a lot of tears over the years and 'car screaming' so know it helps to let it all out. Car screaming and pillow sceaming was passed onto me by one of the old moderators sheila - it works wonders and is a great release.
I put off thinking about mum last few year as there is just too much to take in, not just the death but mum's emotional situation before she died and knowing how sad she felt about dad. Something she never managed to come to terms with before she died. We touched on it a lot, but mum never had time to grieve or get any closure and that right now is too hard to think about. I see no point in torturing myself with things that cannot be changed and it is hard to remember the good times right now.
We are looking into scattering the ashes over the next month so that will probably help. All a process that you can never prepare for. You just find yourself leaping from caring day-to-day for someone you love and being full of worrying to a very empty place. It is such a contrast without an imbetween space.
From my experience and following many on talking point, time is the only healer and this is never a short process.
Kindest Regards and thanks again.
It is good to talk and that is one thing I'm very good at ;-)
Craig
Edited: Mameeskye we cross posted. Just to say thanks for your comment and reassurance regarding the broken sleep. Good to know it is normal. I'll give it another couple of weeks and see the GP.