Hello everyone,
This is my first post here so before I begin here is a little background info on the situation.
My grandfather has recently been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia and the past months have been complete hell for our family. He spent numerous months in the hospital and eventually he was placed in a nursing home. Things are actually starting to get better with him (for now) so I will jump ahead to my grandmothers situation...
My grandmother had been staying in her home during this period with the help of my parents who happen to live across the street from her. Before my grandfather was admitted to the hospital he was taking care of her. His mobility is better than hers and until Lewy body hit him like a jackhammer he was doing the groceries and doing most of the work around the house. My parents decided they would pick up the slack and feed my grandmother 3 times per day because alone she forgets to take her meds and doesn't eat. My parents also added cameras to check up on my grandmother for her safety since she also has heart problems and falls. Add to this that my mother was going to the hospital everyday and dealing with grandfather and his condition.
Over the past couple of months my grandmother has been getting progressively worse. She already had memory problems and had no short term memory but then she started forgetting who my grandfather was and saying he was her father amongst other things. She has now gotten to the point that she cannot have a normal conversation because she will just keep asking the same questions and making the same comments over and over again.
My grandmother ended up getting a pneumonia and had a complete break with reality. She was then transported to the hospital where she stayed for a couple of weeks.
We were then informed that she had alzheimers and was not in any kind of condition to be staying home alone even with the safe guards my parents have put in place. Keep in mind my parents still work full time and I do as well.
To be honest I don't even know how my mother has survived the last couple of months. She's in and out of the hospital for my grandfather that keeps falling because of Lewy body and now she is taking it upon herself to do the same for her mother. My mother is starting to deteriorate physically and is on the verge of a break down.
Anyways my grandmother was transferred to a nursing home on friday. My mom and I assisted with the process and we explained that she was going to this nursing home until a room opens up with my grandfather so they can be reunited. By the time the transport got to the nursing home she had completely forgot what we explained to her over and over all morning and completely lost it.
We explained that this was temporary but she would not have it. She cried and was angry and we explained again that is was temporary. Of course she said we never told her and was angry at us.
The next day my parents went to see her. When my parents arrived she had packed up all her clothing and effects and told my mom she was ready to go home. My mom tried to re-explain to my grandmother the situation but she just grew increasingly hostile towards her.
The next day the exact same thing happened. My grandmother packed all her things and was even more hostile towards my mom. She said all sorts of nasty things to her which is obviously taking a toll on my mother since both her parents are losing their mental capacities and are quite harsh with her on top of the fact that this has become her life. All she does is care for her parents and in return gets nasty comments from them.
Today was my day to go see my grandmother to give my parents a break. Same thing as the other days. She was sleeping in her bed without blankets because she had packed them with all her clothes and was waiting to go home. She was nasty during the entire visit (with me and the other residents). She barely ate her lunch. Told me to tell my mom that she was starving (although she had a full plate of food she refused to eat) and indicated that tomorrow was her last day and that she was going home and then didn't want to see us ever again.
I'm at a loss for words at this point. I don't know how are family will keep on surviving this if she keeps doing this every day and gets more and more nasty with us.
Has any one else had to deal with someone who was packing every day and getting ready to go home? Any advice for how to deal with it?
Thanks
Denis
P.S: My mother should be considered for sainthood!
This is my first post here so before I begin here is a little background info on the situation.
My grandfather has recently been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia and the past months have been complete hell for our family. He spent numerous months in the hospital and eventually he was placed in a nursing home. Things are actually starting to get better with him (for now) so I will jump ahead to my grandmothers situation...
My grandmother had been staying in her home during this period with the help of my parents who happen to live across the street from her. Before my grandfather was admitted to the hospital he was taking care of her. His mobility is better than hers and until Lewy body hit him like a jackhammer he was doing the groceries and doing most of the work around the house. My parents decided they would pick up the slack and feed my grandmother 3 times per day because alone she forgets to take her meds and doesn't eat. My parents also added cameras to check up on my grandmother for her safety since she also has heart problems and falls. Add to this that my mother was going to the hospital everyday and dealing with grandfather and his condition.
Over the past couple of months my grandmother has been getting progressively worse. She already had memory problems and had no short term memory but then she started forgetting who my grandfather was and saying he was her father amongst other things. She has now gotten to the point that she cannot have a normal conversation because she will just keep asking the same questions and making the same comments over and over again.
My grandmother ended up getting a pneumonia and had a complete break with reality. She was then transported to the hospital where she stayed for a couple of weeks.
We were then informed that she had alzheimers and was not in any kind of condition to be staying home alone even with the safe guards my parents have put in place. Keep in mind my parents still work full time and I do as well.
To be honest I don't even know how my mother has survived the last couple of months. She's in and out of the hospital for my grandfather that keeps falling because of Lewy body and now she is taking it upon herself to do the same for her mother. My mother is starting to deteriorate physically and is on the verge of a break down.
Anyways my grandmother was transferred to a nursing home on friday. My mom and I assisted with the process and we explained that she was going to this nursing home until a room opens up with my grandfather so they can be reunited. By the time the transport got to the nursing home she had completely forgot what we explained to her over and over all morning and completely lost it.
We explained that this was temporary but she would not have it. She cried and was angry and we explained again that is was temporary. Of course she said we never told her and was angry at us.
The next day my parents went to see her. When my parents arrived she had packed up all her clothing and effects and told my mom she was ready to go home. My mom tried to re-explain to my grandmother the situation but she just grew increasingly hostile towards her.
The next day the exact same thing happened. My grandmother packed all her things and was even more hostile towards my mom. She said all sorts of nasty things to her which is obviously taking a toll on my mother since both her parents are losing their mental capacities and are quite harsh with her on top of the fact that this has become her life. All she does is care for her parents and in return gets nasty comments from them.
Today was my day to go see my grandmother to give my parents a break. Same thing as the other days. She was sleeping in her bed without blankets because she had packed them with all her clothes and was waiting to go home. She was nasty during the entire visit (with me and the other residents). She barely ate her lunch. Told me to tell my mom that she was starving (although she had a full plate of food she refused to eat) and indicated that tomorrow was her last day and that she was going home and then didn't want to see us ever again.
I'm at a loss for words at this point. I don't know how are family will keep on surviving this if she keeps doing this every day and gets more and more nasty with us.
Has any one else had to deal with someone who was packing every day and getting ready to go home? Any advice for how to deal with it?
Thanks
Denis
P.S: My mother should be considered for sainthood!