1. jordan

    jordan Registered User

    Apr 28, 2006
    1
    leeds, west yorkshire
    my grandad is dying of alzheimers. when i was little he always used to pick on me is it normal for me to not be bovad about him and i no its coz hes ill but he makes me hate him even more now hes horrible to my nanna who is diabetic how can i help wivout getting anoyed with him?
     
  2. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Jordan,
    You sound normal to me. If you never particularly got on well with your grandad, why should you suddenly have strong feelings for him now? I think though that it can't help your nanna if she sees you getting annoyed with her husband, so for her sake you must keep your cool. How about going out with nanna, whilst someone else looks after grandad; it will help your nanna to get way from the situation and have a bit of fun. Phone calls help too; ring her up and have a chat. What is important is that your nanna knows that you care for her, that she is not on her own coping with the situation.
    If you can, try with your grandad. We only get one chance with this life, and when grandad dies you don't want to be left regretting that you did not try to get to know him. Do your best, all anyone can ask of you.
    Best wishes
    Amy
     
  3. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    Hi Jordan,
    People with AD can sometimes become onrey, biligerant, and abusive. Even if they weren't like that before AD. That is where I draw the line. You cannot let someone be mean or abusive to you or others. They are like small children who are scared, or just want their way about things. At times, they have to be treated like small children. I don't know if you can curb your Grandfathers actions or not but you can say, if your going to be that way, we are going to leave, and leave, even if it is just to a separate room or outside.
    My Mom continually trashes my sister in law. I am so sick of it. It is a manifestation of years of them not getting along very well but my sister in law hasn't done anything to deserve this kind of trashing. I finally told my Mom when she started in again that I did not want to hear or talk about her any more. I had to say it several times but she finally stopped. I'm sure I will have to say it again. When she gets a bee in her bonnet about other things I just have to say "no". Children nor AD sufferers like to hear "no", too bad. So the bottom line is, be patient, be caring, be concerning but don't let the AD Grandpa verbally abuse you or your Grandma. As Super Nannie says, " that isn't acceptable !"
    Debbie
     

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