Going on holiday

[Harley Davidson]

My husband has been diagnosed with Probable Alzheimer's disease with spastic paraparesis. His bother and father had the same condition (both passed away)
We want to travel while we can and his mobility allows us. I want to book a trip next year and I can tell that my husband really wants to go but I am worried as to how we will cope.
Do we just book and look forward which is what I want to do ? Any advice ?

 

[Soobee]

Hello and welcome to Talking Point, Harley Davidson.

The short answer to your question is yes, do go away for as long as it remains a viable option - I am sure other people will post - there are several on here that took loved ones away on holiday on a regular basis.

There's a factsheet that mentions holidays, which might be helpful.

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/downl...factsheet_travelling_and_going_on_holiday.pdf

Keep posting and if you have any specific worries then one of us may have gone through that situation before.

 

[Harley Davidson]

Holiday

Thanks for reply. Going to travel agents next week and sort out holiday need something to look forward to

 

[LynneMcV]

I agree, take the chance to holiday while you can and make good memories for yourself.

My husband was diagnosed in 2012. In the December of that year we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary and we took the chance to go away, just the two of us, for a week in Lanzarote. It was wonderful.

Two years later if was my husband 's 60th birthday and we went away as a family to Tenerife. It was to be our last family holiday - we got through it and had enjoyable days during the week - but things happened along the way which made it clear that going away in future was no longer going to be feasible.

I am glad we fitted in those two breaks while we could. We rely on day trips now and still have fun and I remember those last two trips abroad with happiness - especially as I remember how much my husband enjoyed them at the time too

 

[cragmaid]

I understand how much you want to holiday, however I would like to sadly, inject a note of caution. An awful lot can happen in a year, so, if you do book now, make sure that you get suitable insurance cover to cater for eventualities. I think I would spend a lot of time browsing and planning before booking, just in case things don't pan out....

 

[LynneMcV]

I meant to add that both our breaks were booked within 8 weeks of actually going away rather than a year ahead. That meant we had a reasonable idea (but no absolute guarantee) how things were going to be.

 

[Harley Davidson]

I understand how much you want to holiday, however I would like to sadly, inject a note of caution. An awful lot can happen in a year, so, if you do book now, make sure that you get suitable insurance cover to cater for eventualities. I think I would spend a lot of time browsing and planning before booking, just in case things don't pan out....

Feel a bit sad now as you have made me realise that maybe I'm doing the wrong thing

 

[Shedrech]

hi Harley Davidson
I just wonder whether you might have some short breaks away together and from now, rather than pinning everything on a big holiday next year
that way you can share some lovely experiences and tailor where you go and what you do to how your husband copes with each one
I know a couple who rarely plan ahead, they just go online when they fancy some time away and find the best last minute deal - they have had some great times in places they wouldn't have booked up a year ahead
personally, I just enjoy taking myself off for a few days in a B&B in good old GB
best wishes

 

[Philbo]

Hi HD

A major thing to consider (I think) is what would happen to the person with dementia, if you were taken ill or had some mishap.

After my wife was diagnosed, this concerned me, so for the next 2 years, I paid for my kids and grand-kids to come away with us (first to Ibiza to the hotel my wife and I had been to many times, the second to Crete for a week).

In Ibiza, she ended up with a tummy bug and I spent the night in hospital with her on a drip - a nightmare as she kept getting up and couldn't understand what was happening.

In Crete, no mishaps but she found the whole process of getting up, various changes of clothes (shorts, swimwear, shorts for lunch, etc etc) very confusing and seemed quite unsettled, even on our return for a week or so.

So although we had a nice holiday, I decided that it was too much for either of us, especially as she is now incontinent. I do get envious at this time of the year though, as friends and family excitedly tell you about their forthcoming holiday or show you their pictures.

Ironic as I took early retirement in 2010 (aged 59) so that we could travel more!

 

[Izzy]

I travelled abroad with my husband until he was quite far on in his dementia. Eventually I got to the point where I knew it was no longer a possibility.

I agree with Maureen that good insurance is necessary. I had to cancel one of our holidays as Bill ended up in hospital with pneumonia.

As the years went on the holidays became quite hard work as I had to really plan ahead and almost second guess what might happen. I ended up taking a small infra ref alarm with me. I used to put that in front of the bedroom door. I learned that one after he disappeared from the bedroom in Turkey while I slept on regardless. He had gone to the loo and I think he turned right instead of left when he came out and ended up in the corridor. Thankfully someone on reception returned him! I always let staff know that he had dementia and found people to be very kind and caring.

I always booked assistance at airports too. I was lucky that Bill agreed to sit in a wheelchair. The distances you had to walk in airports were becoming too much for him. This meant that we were taken right through security and I didn't have to worry about Bill doing or saying something weird as we went through the security checks. I'm pretty sure you can get assistance without the wheelchair. I really felt that being accompanied through security was a big boon.

For our last two holidays abroad I took a carer with me. This made a massive difference. It meant that I could relax more both in the airport and in the resort. Even the feeling that the responsibility was shared was a big weight off my shoulders. By that time Bill was incontinent. I was able to take a large bag of is pads in addition to our baggage allowance as it was classed as medical equipment. I'm pretty sure all airlines allow this extra baggage. I don't think you need that just now but useful to know. All I needed was a letter from his GP to say that he need the stuff and I had to arrange it directly with the airline before the flight.

The time came when I knew it was no longer possible but don't regret going on the holidays, even though it became quite hard work. It gave me more memories to hold on to.

Good luck.

 

[Harley Davidson]

Holiday

Thanks everyone for responses. At the moment my husband copes really well with every day living. Still driving do odd jobs gardening etc. He gets tired but don't we all ! He's 63yrs old and really wants this holiday. I don't want to be the kill joy and have decided to see travel agent and discuss the trip and make sure that it's suitable. Then I am going to get holiday insurance to cover his condition. Hopefully I have covered all eventualities and if things get worse and can cancel with holiday insurance as the backup. I am at the stage where it a glass half full and want to continue with the mindset as long as possible. This trip is to Canada with the Galgary Stampede and gets booked up really quickly hence the urgency to bet it booked. Fingers crossed we have made the right decision.

 

[Harley Davidson]

Holiday

I travelled abroad with my husband until he was quite far on in his dementia. Eventually I got to the point where I knew it was no longer a possibility.

I agree with Maureen that good insurance is necessary. I had to cancel one of our holidays as Bill ended up in hospital with pneumonia.

As the years went on the holidays became quite hard work as I had to really plan ahead and almost second guess what might happen. I ended up taking a small infra ref alarm with me. I used to put that in front of the bedroom door. I learned that one after he disappeared from the bedroom in Turkey while I slept on regardless. He had gone to the loo and I think he turned right instead of left when he came out and ended up in the corridor. Thankfully someone on reception returned him! I always let staff know that he had dementia and found people to be very kind and caring.

I always booked assistance at airports too. I was lucky that Bill agreed to sit in a wheelchair. The distances you had to walk in airports were becoming too much for him. This meant that we were taken right through security and I didn't have to worry about Bill doing or saying something weird as we went through the security checks. I'm pretty sure you can get assistance without the wheelchair. I really felt that being accompanied through security was a big boon.

For our last two holidays abroad I took a carer with me. This made a massive difference. It meant that I could relax more both in the airport and in the resort. Even the feeling that the responsibility was shared was a big weight off my shoulders. By that time Bill was incontinent. I was able to take a large bag of is pads in addition to our baggage allowance as it was classed as medical equipment. I'm pretty sure all airlines allow this extra baggage. I don't think you need that just now but useful to know. All I needed was a letter from his GP to say that he need the stuff and I had to arrange it directly with the airline before the flight.

The time came when I knew it was no longer possible but don't regret going on the holidays, even though it became quite hard work. It gave me more memories to hold on to.

Good luck.

Holiday
Thanks everyone for responses. At the moment my husband copes really well with every day living. Still driving do odd jobs gardening etc. He gets tired but don't we all ! He's 63yrs old and really wants this holiday. I don't want to be the kill joy and have decided to see travel agent and discuss the trip and make sure that it's suitable. Then I am going to get holiday insurance to cover his condition. Hopefully I have covered all eventualities and if things get worse and can cancel with holiday insurance as the backup. I am at the stage where it a glass half full and want to continue with the mindset as long as possible. This trip is to Canada with the Galgary Stampede and gets booked up really quickly hence the urgency to bet it booked. Fingers crossed we have made the right decision.

 

[northumbrian_k]

I would recommend trying a short fairly local break first and then book a longer, more ambitious break if things go well. But be aware how things can change and how isolated you might feel in a foreign country if something went badly wrong. This is the first year in over 35 that we have not been outside the UK for a holiday, but we are still having good breaks in England, Scotland and Wales. I toyed with another trip to France as last year but quite frankly the prospect of doing all of the packing, driving, navigating and so on has led me to choose an easier option in the UK. On holiday my wife always thinks she is somewhere else anyway (often Cumbria for some strange reason) and, although she enjoys what we do, her enjoyment is now quite literally 'in the moment'.

I always try to book accommodation which can be cancelled with a full refund at relatively short notice. This minimises the financial risk but may be less easy to do if flights and foreign travel are involved.

Good luck, give it a go, but be aware that holidays can led to a new set of challenges, yet with luck you may come back refreshed.

 

[northumbrian_k]

As the years went on the holidays became quite hard work as I had to really plan ahead and almost second guess what might happen. I ended up taking a small infra ref alarm with me. I used to put that in front of the bedroom door. I learned that one after he disappeared from the bedroom in Turkey while I slept on regardless. He had gone to the loo and I think he turned right instead of left when he came out and ended up in the corridor. Thankfully someone on reception returned him!

This has happened to me several times and I now make sure that the exit door from the room has some small obstruction in the way, not enough to trap us in an emergency but sufficient to make a noise and (I hope) wake me up. The worst case was when, jet-lagged and after a few drinks, I did not notice that my wife had left the bed and room when I came back from using the toilet. My first knowledge of this was the receptionist opening the room door and asking me if I was travelling with my wife as she was now in reception. From her account, she had found some 'small stairs' and made an excursion to the roof of our 8 storey hotel. I never knew if this was real or imagined, but it scared me all the same. This was 5 years ago, long before her diagnosis, but, looking back, signs of her dementia were already becoming apparent.

 

[Izzy]

That sounds so familiar! In Turkey I was wakened by Bill shaking my should and telling me there was a gentleman here to speak to me! It was the concierge who had brought Bill back to his room. Thankfully he remembered his name so they knew which room it was! I tried suitcases in front of the door and all sorts but he was a whizz at moving things very quietly. The alarm was a god send. This was it -

https://www.maplin.co.uk/p/wireless-security-beam-alarm-vh87u

 

[cumbria35]

Holiday

Feel a bit sad now as you have made me realise that maybe I'm doing the wrong thing

Don't feel sad but try to have holiday sooner rather than later, my daughter said we should,plan ahead but we book and travel within four weeks at the most, understandably as you never know how things are. Also we are lucky enough to have Annual insurance cover which is important and means that we can go at shorter notice (not too short as needs planning for) . We also,asked for help at the airport which was very helpful. Do what you can while you can.

 

[cumbria35]

Holiday

Holiday
Thanks everyone for responses. At the moment my husband copes really well with every day living. Still driving do odd jobs gardening etc. He gets tired but don't we all ! He's 63yrs old and really wants this holiday. I don't want to be the kill joy and have decided to see travel agent and discuss the trip and make sure that it's suitable. Then I am going to get holiday insurance to cover his condition. Hopefully I have covered all eventualities and if things get worse and can cancel with holiday insurance as the backup. I am at the stage where it a glass half full and want to continue with the mindset as long as possible. This trip is to Canada with the Galgary Stampede and gets booked up really quickly hence the urgency to bet it booked. Fingers crossed we have made the right decision.

Don't want to be a killjoy but perhaps it would be a good idea to get holiday insurance first as need to be covered from day of booking holiday in case things go adrift. Best of luck and have a lovely holiday.

 

[Harley Davidson]

Holiday

Any recommendations for good travel
Insurance companies please

 

[Izzy]

Any recommendations for good travel
Insurance companies please

You might find this thread useful -

https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?103422-Holiday-insurance-advice

A number of people mentioned companies they have experience of in this thread.

 

[janet m]

do all these people have an LPA in place? I get confused when it says you have to notify banks will they let you use money to go to Spain as it is in euros? even if you have joint accounts