God I'm going to scream!!!

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by suem, Aug 6, 2007.

  1. suem

    suem Registered User

    Jul 1, 2005
    Having decided that I had come to the end of my tether with caring and at the point of walking out my husband reluctantly agreed full time care was the option. This was months after the medics and social worker agreed this was the way to go. It was agreed for him to go on extended respite which would give me a breathing space and give us the chance to look round for somewhere decent. I want to make sure we get the right place.
    However.....as many of you know I have a stepson who has other ideas and does not believe he should be in care even though everyone else does but can't come up with a solution to do anything better. Having got my husband used to the idea of going into care s.son has twisted everything around so my husband doesn't know if he is coming or going.
    I am trying to register an EPA with me as attorney on our jointly property and assets. S.son has already once taken my husband and got the EPA revoked in his and his brothers favour but when they discovered they couldn't do anything without my name on it it was changed back to my name. Now of course s.son is feeding my husband with all these little thoughts as to why his name should be on it.
    I am absolutely sick and tired of this but don't know who to turn to. I need someone that will act for my husband or make a decision on his behalf without this constant battle me and my s.son. Some of these things are legal some medical and while we have lots of experts in various fields there is no one moderator that can deal with all aspects. Is there someone I can appoint??? or is there an authority that has the power to sort this?
    My s.son cannot see reason and I'm just sick and tired of his interference.
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    Horrid situation.

    Have you called the Alzheimer's Society Help Line?

  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Sue, I'm so sorry for you. I remember your previous posts abouit the EPA, and your step-son getting it changed.

    You do need someone to fight your corner, it's too much to cope with your husband's care and constant battles as well.

    Bruce's suggestion of calling As is excellent. As an alternative (or as well), you could see if there is an advocacy service in your area. That is what they do, stand up for you when you can't fight any more.

    Your local branch of AS or PRT would be able to help you find someone.

    I've huge sympathy for you, family battles are awful.

  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    So sorry Sue.

    I can`t offer more than the excellent advice you`ve already had but just want to commiserate.

    It`s enough to have all the worries of 24/7 care without having to put up with family interference too.

    I hope you get some good advice to enable you to continue where you left off, before the interfering step son stuck his oar in.

    Love xx
  5. dolly gee

    dolly gee Registered User

    Mar 9, 2007
    suem i realy feel for you it must be very hard but cant you become your husbands extecure you can then take charge of his welfare i am not sure what epa is but i hope everything goes well for you take care dolly gee
  6. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    North Derbyshire
    Message for sue

    Dear Sue,

    So sorry to hear of all your difficulities. I have to say that I feel your own approach is right and never mind the stepson, do what you think is right.

    It's dead easy for those who are not involved day to day to think they know better than you. Do what YOU think is right, you are best placed to decide. Much love to you in your situation. Do your best.

    I'm an only child with no-one else to help, but no-one to argue with either. Pros and cons of both situations



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