Getting things off my chest

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Olly, Jan 13, 2006.

  1. Olly

    Olly Registered User

    Jan 3, 2006
    6
    Birmingham
    Hi to you all, it's good to share other's experiences of AD. I have not yet posted a new thread only replied to a couple. I am a new member and I started looking at this site many months ago because I suspect that my mom has AD.

    I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment with everything. My mother is 75 and I believe 2 years ago she suffered a stroke, and as a result has now got the symptoms of AD or dementia. It has been a long battle since November 03 when all her symptoms came to light. I had to involve the GP and asked him to call to see her but he broke my confidence and told her that it was me who asked him to call, I have had to ask for help off the CPN and speak very openly in front of her and mom which I found difficult. Then I had to arrange assisstant from an incontinence nurse, social worker, carer, cleaner, meels on wheels. I take her to all her appointments, bath her and do her washing because she won't let anyone else help her.
    I am one of 9 and have 4 brothers and 4 sisters, I live the closest and I am the eldest daughter. I am the main carer and seem to be doing more than my fare share. I am quite angry with some members who keep away and do nothing to help and some of them don't think there is much wrong with her. I am tired of updating everyone and taking all the responsibility. On top of this I have a daughter who suffers with depression and she has 2 children who I support and look after. I have another daughter who is at University and a newish partner who I am also trying to be available for.

    I feel like I am splitting myself up and doing everything for everyone and nothing for me. I try to be assertive and say no from time to time but, people think I am being awkward.
    I work full time and have to go away with my job sometimes, so I am feeling quite stressed.
    I can see that mom is getting worse, we have just had some tests conducted, ECG, MRI, Blood tests and results are iminent.

    The trouble is that I am pushing people away in favour of mom because she is constantly on my mind, and takes so much of my time, I feel that they don't understand how difficult it is and I fear that I will loose their love and support and ruin any relationship I have with them.
    Does anyone else have any advice on coping strategies and how to deal with the guilt that you feel if you don't please everyone?

    Still smiling, won't let this affect me or my Health.
     
  2. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Olly

    Poor you, you sound as if you have far too much to cope with and it will wear you down and affect your health unless you are careful.

    Have you told any of your siblings how you feel? There may be one you can open up to and it may lead to more input from them in helping with their mother, or their neice's children.

    Look after yourself or you will not be able to look after anyone else.

    Take care

    Kathleen
     

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