Getting help for my mother

[avalon]

I have been noticing changes with my mother for several years. I first spoke to her doctor over two years ago. He said that as she would not go with me to see him he could not help. In March this year I finally persuaded my mother to go with me. By this time her memory had become bad ,her behaviour had become very erratic and she was extremely anxious about everything. The doctor said it was just a urinary infection. Two weeks later I took her back , this time the doctor asked my mum her name and date of birth, she answered correctly so I was told there was no problem . 5 weeks later in May , by now she had deteriorated even more I took her back, the doctor did some tests , said there was a slight problem and sent her for a CAT scan. She had the scan on 15 June , . We finally saw her doctor again on 22 July and were told there were some changes but he could do nothing for her until she has seen the specialist, we are still waiting. Meanwhile my mothers life is awful she has several bad panic attacks a day , is unable to manage simple tasks such as changing from BBC1 to BBC2 , and does not remember to change her clothes . she has withdrawn from meeting other people eg yesterday went to church and left after 5 minutes.
She needs help desperately but I have no idea where I can get help from.

 

[Beate]

Adult Social Services! You do not need a diagnosis to get help. Ask them to urgently assess her as they have duty of care for a vulnerable adult at risk.

And try another GP. This one seems useless.

 

[Pacucho]

The reply you have received from Beate is great advice. Approach adult social services.

But I would also go back to the GP. It may also help to explain to the GP that it is not just your mother that needs help but also the rest of his family, who are being affected by this (emotionally, mentally and physically). Hope this bit of advice helps with getting the GP to be more pro-active, as they often do not realise the impact of doing nothing.
Paco

 

[Shedrech]

Hi Avalon
welcome to TP - sounds as though you need the support you'll get here to look out for your mum
I wholly agree with Beate - contact your LA's Adult Services and request an assessment of her needs - you could let them know you are awaiting the results of the scan but don't want to wait to get the assessment underway as your mum is on her own, a vulnerable adult at risk
can you find out the consultant/specialist involved with your mum's case and then contact them direct - is there another GP at the surgery? you could just happen to have to see them and bring up your concerns - I assume your mum has been checked for other causes of the symptoms eg vitamin B12 deficiency (blood test) ...

you can actually go ahead and organise care at home yourself - if your mum has income and assets over 23,000 she would be self-funding anyway - if below the LA would at least part fund any care assessed as necessary - though I found that a placement at a day care centre in my area has to be through GP referral

if you haven't already, get Powers of Attorney in place - these will help you in the future - in the meantime, maybe write a letter for your mum, stating that she wants you to be involved in all her health and welfare affairs, so you are to be consulted and for your opinion to be taken into account, have her sign this (maybe several copies) and hand to anyone involved especially her GP, so that it goes on her records - otherwise medics can be held back by patient confidentiality rules

best wishes to you both