Hi
Sorry to have to ask this but I really would appreciate some input. Earlier today I spoke to dad's GP. I explained that SS have said since dad has not been formally assessed they are not able to provide "care cover" for "memory issues" whilst I am hopefully away on holiday later this year. The GP has decided that the best way forward is to make an appointment for a memory check. I have mentioned in earlier postings that the GP did make this offer to dad during an earlier visit. He however declined it and stated that there was no need "as my memory is as good as it has ever been and I really don't want to be checked"
Basically the appointment is being sent up but I am haivng real doubts. Is it fair for me to lie to my dad in order to get him to attend this appointment? I have already mentioned on the telephone that the GP needs to do an "MOT" for dad which includes a "memory check - because of his age". I was brought up to be honest whatever the consequences! and I am being anything but that at the moment and it really does bother me. I am so concerned that if I push dad into having this check done then things will snowball and he will always remember that it was me who pushed tfor it in the first place. Dad's attitude can be sumed up as "letting sleeping dogs lie and don't try and fix something which is not broken".
I have spent the last fews hours thinking about what is happening to make me push for this assessment.
1. Me and my young family are planning a holiday in the summer. I can't leave dad alone for so long, so I am reaching out for some help. SS have said that the only way then can provide help with medication is if he is formaly assessed as having "memory problems". If I was not planning to go away there would be no immediate problem.
2. I am really worried that if he has a formal assessment then it is possible that he will no longer be able to drive. My dad will be absolutley distraught if he has his licence taken away from him. He no longer drives any distance and when I was in the car with him a few weeks ago I did not feel that his current memory problems were having a negative effect on his driving. He is still quick to react, drives at a sensible speed and is fully aware of what is happening around him. He has been the first to say that the moment he feels that he is not capable of controlling a manual car properly he will stop driving immediatley.
3. Am I pushing to get dad assessed too early? His current state of mind is that short term memory is poor, but not always. He is not always confused, only sometimes. The thing that is really bothering me is if I make him attend the assessment , will I lose the trust of my dad which has taken over 20 years to build and leave him even more on his own than he is now. Without me, he would not remember to take regular medication, keep doctors appointments, stay in to get his meal on wheels. My dad trusts me and it feels so wrong to lie so that he can be assessed. Obviously if his condition deteriorated then I would feel less quilty about getting him assessed but at the moment, it feels that I am using a sledge hammer to crack a nut.
Whilst I appreciate that what ever I decide to do will be my own choice, I would be grateful to hear others input on the matter.
Burfordthecat
Sorry to have to ask this but I really would appreciate some input. Earlier today I spoke to dad's GP. I explained that SS have said since dad has not been formally assessed they are not able to provide "care cover" for "memory issues" whilst I am hopefully away on holiday later this year. The GP has decided that the best way forward is to make an appointment for a memory check. I have mentioned in earlier postings that the GP did make this offer to dad during an earlier visit. He however declined it and stated that there was no need "as my memory is as good as it has ever been and I really don't want to be checked"
Basically the appointment is being sent up but I am haivng real doubts. Is it fair for me to lie to my dad in order to get him to attend this appointment? I have already mentioned on the telephone that the GP needs to do an "MOT" for dad which includes a "memory check - because of his age". I was brought up to be honest whatever the consequences! and I am being anything but that at the moment and it really does bother me. I am so concerned that if I push dad into having this check done then things will snowball and he will always remember that it was me who pushed tfor it in the first place. Dad's attitude can be sumed up as "letting sleeping dogs lie and don't try and fix something which is not broken".
I have spent the last fews hours thinking about what is happening to make me push for this assessment.
1. Me and my young family are planning a holiday in the summer. I can't leave dad alone for so long, so I am reaching out for some help. SS have said that the only way then can provide help with medication is if he is formaly assessed as having "memory problems". If I was not planning to go away there would be no immediate problem.
2. I am really worried that if he has a formal assessment then it is possible that he will no longer be able to drive. My dad will be absolutley distraught if he has his licence taken away from him. He no longer drives any distance and when I was in the car with him a few weeks ago I did not feel that his current memory problems were having a negative effect on his driving. He is still quick to react, drives at a sensible speed and is fully aware of what is happening around him. He has been the first to say that the moment he feels that he is not capable of controlling a manual car properly he will stop driving immediatley.
3. Am I pushing to get dad assessed too early? His current state of mind is that short term memory is poor, but not always. He is not always confused, only sometimes. The thing that is really bothering me is if I make him attend the assessment , will I lose the trust of my dad which has taken over 20 years to build and leave him even more on his own than he is now. Without me, he would not remember to take regular medication, keep doctors appointments, stay in to get his meal on wheels. My dad trusts me and it feels so wrong to lie so that he can be assessed. Obviously if his condition deteriorated then I would feel less quilty about getting him assessed but at the moment, it feels that I am using a sledge hammer to crack a nut.
Whilst I appreciate that what ever I decide to do will be my own choice, I would be grateful to hear others input on the matter.
Burfordthecat