First of all I want to thank all the kind and caring people on this forum for your support given to me this year.
This time last year everything was normal. My Mom showed no signs of Vascular Dementia. She went into Hospital for a routine op and came out a different person. All the Doctors etc were puzzled and it was a neurologist who took an interest and transferred Mom to Birmingham for a month. He diagnosed her with Vascular Dementia. She has been treated with no dignity and moved from ward to ward for most of the year. She went into a Psychiatric Unit for assessment. It has been a rapid onset and instead of the usual steps, she is towards the later stages already. After three weeks , we were "invited" to an assessment meeting. We didnt have anyone to represent us as we thought it was just a general meeting to see how mom was generally. We were told very bluntly by the Psychaitrist that Moms needs are too great and she needs to go into a Nursing Home. She is doubly incontinent and not very mobile. She is scared and lonely and the only thing we know is she wants to be with us no matter what. She still knows us and when we visit her, all she wants to do is sit and hold our hands and talk. She keeps saying how scared she is and how lonely she feels. We want whats best for Mom. Its a hard choice. Every time we go to the Hospital, which is everyday, she is just sitting there in a chair, lonely and looking lost. When she sees us, she comes alive and just wants to be with us. The Pyschaitrist said if she came home, she would be worse and become ill. Three days later , we had a phone call from the Hospital saying Mom had had a seizure and we found out (by accident!!!!!!!!!) that it lasted for over twenty minutes. They dont have an Inhouse Doctor. She was sent over to the Casualty Dept for observation where she had another seizure. She was kept in overnight but was sent back to the Psychiatric ward where it was decided they would do the blood level tests there (for some unknown reason) We arrived at visting time when we were told Mom was in the middle of another seizure. It too lasted a very long time. The Psychaitrist said if she came home she would become ill. If she was at home we would have dialled 999 and got treatment. Can they have Mom sectioned. We firmly believe its NOT in her best interest to go into a home. The Psychaitrist said she would need too much care, especially with the changing. Moms pension surely could pay for a Night Nurse???
Vascular Dementia in so unpredictable and we KNOW Mom would want to be at home with us. What rights do we have. Who can we turn to?
We have tried Onside, but they seem to concentrate more on the Financial aspects. Do we have any say in the matter or do we let Mom die a lonely death in a Nursing Home, no matter how good it might be, or be with the people who love her and who she loves and still knows.
We feel we are going crazy as there is no help around. The Psychaitric Hospital seems to have more power than the Ordinary Hospital where they just want to free up the beds. But we are talking about someone we love dearly and want her around us, the people who love her and the people she feels safe with.
Has anybody any similar experiences? All we know is that we dont want her to die in a Home when she could be loved no matter how hard a challenge, in her own home with us.
PLEASE can anyone advise us on our rights
This time last year everything was normal. My Mom showed no signs of Vascular Dementia. She went into Hospital for a routine op and came out a different person. All the Doctors etc were puzzled and it was a neurologist who took an interest and transferred Mom to Birmingham for a month. He diagnosed her with Vascular Dementia. She has been treated with no dignity and moved from ward to ward for most of the year. She went into a Psychiatric Unit for assessment. It has been a rapid onset and instead of the usual steps, she is towards the later stages already. After three weeks , we were "invited" to an assessment meeting. We didnt have anyone to represent us as we thought it was just a general meeting to see how mom was generally. We were told very bluntly by the Psychaitrist that Moms needs are too great and she needs to go into a Nursing Home. She is doubly incontinent and not very mobile. She is scared and lonely and the only thing we know is she wants to be with us no matter what. She still knows us and when we visit her, all she wants to do is sit and hold our hands and talk. She keeps saying how scared she is and how lonely she feels. We want whats best for Mom. Its a hard choice. Every time we go to the Hospital, which is everyday, she is just sitting there in a chair, lonely and looking lost. When she sees us, she comes alive and just wants to be with us. The Pyschaitrist said if she came home, she would be worse and become ill. Three days later , we had a phone call from the Hospital saying Mom had had a seizure and we found out (by accident!!!!!!!!!) that it lasted for over twenty minutes. They dont have an Inhouse Doctor. She was sent over to the Casualty Dept for observation where she had another seizure. She was kept in overnight but was sent back to the Psychiatric ward where it was decided they would do the blood level tests there (for some unknown reason) We arrived at visting time when we were told Mom was in the middle of another seizure. It too lasted a very long time. The Psychaitrist said if she came home she would become ill. If she was at home we would have dialled 999 and got treatment. Can they have Mom sectioned. We firmly believe its NOT in her best interest to go into a home. The Psychaitrist said she would need too much care, especially with the changing. Moms pension surely could pay for a Night Nurse???
Vascular Dementia in so unpredictable and we KNOW Mom would want to be at home with us. What rights do we have. Who can we turn to?
We have tried Onside, but they seem to concentrate more on the Financial aspects. Do we have any say in the matter or do we let Mom die a lonely death in a Nursing Home, no matter how good it might be, or be with the people who love her and who she loves and still knows.
We feel we are going crazy as there is no help around. The Psychaitric Hospital seems to have more power than the Ordinary Hospital where they just want to free up the beds. But we are talking about someone we love dearly and want her around us, the people who love her and the people she feels safe with.
Has anybody any similar experiences? All we know is that we dont want her to die in a Home when she could be loved no matter how hard a challenge, in her own home with us.
PLEASE can anyone advise us on our rights
