1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. andypandy

    andypandy Registered User

    Jun 28, 2015
    32
    Mum has been in hospital now for 7 weeks since the CH suggested we 'discharge her elsewhere when she leaves hospital' after being admitted for a water infection (long story covered in a previous post). We've had so many problems. Now when we seemed to be getting somewhere mums now had a heart attack, she's in pain and she's scared. This awful disease has taken her from us and now this has happened. I'm scared, I hate all this I just want mum back and I know it's never going to happen. We just want her out of hospital and in an environment where she feels safe and looked after and loved. And I feel it's not going to happen. Just so frightened.
     
  2. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    Oh I am so very sorry, it is frightening when the people we love most are scared and in pain. Have you found anywhere for her that you are happy with for when she is better? If you have then perhaps you could take some pictures for her of her lovely room or the new lounge so that she can start to look forward. I think hospitals are very frightening. If she was going to a care home anyway it is possible that the hospital would be more likely to discharge her quickly
     
  3. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    i forgot to send you a very big hug ((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))
     
  4. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,535
    North East England
    I'm so sorry that you feel so frightened, it's such a horrible feeling. Are you able to look for a different nursing home for her? Have the hospital doctors given you any idea when she could be discharged?

    Wish I could be more help, my heart goes out to you. I'm sure others will be along shortly with more concrete advice and support.

    xx
     
  5. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, andy. I hope you get some information from the doctors/nurses/staff soon that will help you to plan for whatever is next. You must all be so very tired and upset, I cannot imagine.

    Is there a social worker, case manager, discharge planner, or helpful nurse or staff member at the hospital who might be able to help you find the right place for your mother, whether that's rehab or nursing care or something else?
     
  6. andypandy

    andypandy Registered User

    Jun 28, 2015
    32
    Thank you for all your comments and hugs :).

    I'm so frustrated, she is in the system (i.e she has just been issued a social worker etc) but the system is so slow it's painful as everyone reading this will know already.

    If she does get the continual funding we've been told that they will chose the nursing home due to costs etc and if she does get awarded the continual funding we can't contest it. We've had a place chosen for her since just before she went into hospital and due to 'the system' we've waited and waited for the next stage and she's declined I do believe as a result. But it's a residential home not a nursing home and that's what she may now need.

    Feel so very helpless and feel like we're letting Mum down even though I know there's nothing we can do. And to top it all off the SNOW has started, it may be a small issue with what else is going on but if it comes down thick then we can't get to see her as she's so far away at the moment, my sisters and me have rota'd visits so we see her every single day and have done so since she had her first stroke last year but now she's not within walking distance so that's starting to stress me out too on top of everything else.

    Life really sucks. (sorry)
     
  7. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    [ we see her every single day and have done so since she had her first stroke last year but now she's not within walking distance so that's starting to stress me out too on top of everything else.

    Life really sucks. (sorry)[/QUOTE]

    I am so sorry. I think the snow is going to be short lived so try not to worry to much. You haven't let her down, you are doing so much xxx
    Is there a home that would meet her needs within walking distance? If you found somewhere that suited her I think they would be open to talking to you about it - I think they only impose the 'cost' thing because some people are unrealistic. So keep going for what you want and when you see the social worker have it all worked out and tell her why! Tell her that you want to see your mum every day and that is important to you and your family, don't hold back, they need to hear it and if they are any good they will listen.

    Don't give up, you are doing great xxxxxxxx Thinking of you x
     

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