1. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhhh!

    Is this Big Brother? :eek:

    I have just checked out my own profile :eek:...... I did NOT authorise people sharing who were my friends? OK, I confess, I didn't understand the process and that is my fault ... nor do I like knowing who have recently looked at my profile - or how many ... Yuk ...... Does this mean people will know they are on an 'Ignore' list? ... what an awful thought .....

    This no longer feels like a place of safety ... and I am taking on board Gigi's wisdom - 'deleting friends' .... and hope to continue to use TP to offer and receive support on the main forums ... some of the FAQs I read yesterday seem in contradiction to some of the the practice? :confused:

    Karen
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,876
    Kent
    I`m with you too Gigi

    The Friends Option worried me from the beginning.

    It might be fun on FaceBook or Bebo, where strangers post with a variety of needs and intents, but here we have a common bond from day one and I prefer to concentrate my efforts on being part of the whole.

    I`ll go with a good northern saying `If in doubt, do nowt.`
     
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    OK, I'm going to delete friends too.

    Sorry everyone, you know I love you but I do feel it's divisive.

    Thank you gigi for having the courage of your convictions .:)
     
  4. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    But they will, because they face does not show up on the friend profile who added them .

    I suppose as I know from Face book, its not a nice feeling when someone reject you as being there friend when you request them to be your friend .

    That cliques thing, does seem to happen at work and on the Internet. I have never been into all that anyway, am to thick skin now to let it bother me if it does happen on Talking point .

    I want to be every one friend :)when I remember over time I shall be adding more friends to my list . But each to there own, if they don't want to expect my request .

    I shall still be they friend .
     
  5. Bookworm

    Bookworm Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    2,581
    Co. Derry
    So far I like "friends" facility

    I thought one good thing about friends is if you put in some photos into Album & want to restrict who sees it. One of my biggest concerns here is to be private to the outside world as to my identity for my husband's sake more than mine & so there are lots of things I don't & can't say - so i wondered over time if my blog would only be for friends and others that want to see it - I've a feeling I agree with Helen's point that TP will grow & the sense of community we currently enjoy with a fairly limited number of regular posters - approx 400 or so (see home page) may be hard to keep if growth is big & sudden. I love seeing my friends - but have not had a visitor message - not sure how that all works. There are some I would have liked to ask to be friends but I was maybe a little daunted & now some of them have said they are not using the system yet - so - maybe I'm like Maggie on this - I'd like many friends not few!! Once again I would not have found this thread were it not for a mention in Helen's blog - so thanx H x
     
  6. Snip

    Snip Registered User

    Mar 16, 2009
    127
    #46 Snip, Apr 10, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2009
    Er....I don't think I know what you're all talking about LOL....so I think I will just carry on in blissful ignorance :D

    I just like being here...and although I'm new and don't 'know' all of you yet I have always felt welcomed..thank you!:)

    Love


    Snip x
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,876
    Kent
    That`s all it needs Snip and what it`s all about. The `fripperies ` are unimportant.
    Love xx
     
  8. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    I agree with you on this! I am reluctant to post too much personal details but would not object to sharing with friends who have been especially supportive. That does not mean that other members are not friends - just that I feel somewhat vulnerable knowing how open this forum is.

    I see the main support section as the most valuable for those seeking information and advice on how the disease affects us all.

    Happy Easter all! Love Jan
     
  9. Sandy

    Sandy Registered User

    Mar 23, 2005
    6,847
    We are all still getting used to how this new version of TP works and, without commenting about the use of the Friends feature in any other sense, I thought that I would look at how it relates to privacy issue - as a way to help me learn more about the system.

    The short message is that ,as far as I can tell, you can access all the privacy settings available without using the Friends feature. Some features do make use of your Contact list which consists of Contacts and Friends. You can add members to your Contacts independently (not inviting them like Friends) and, as far as I can see, they don't show in a public space, unlike Friends.

    For people who want a summary, here are how the privacy options work:

    Blogs
    You can include access or view and/or comment to the following group categories 1) Contact list 2) Ignore list 3) Other TP members 4) Guests (non-TP members).

    So if you wanted your blog to be private, you could restrict viewing and comments to only those on your Contact list.

    Social Groups
    If you start a group and choose to restrict membership, you can select the option where members have to have their request to join approved by the group owner. Contacts and Friends don't seem to come into it.

    Pictures and Albums
    If you want to restrict access, you have the option of making it visible only to contacts and moderators. I assume that contacts in this sense means all the people on your Contacts lists - both Contacts and Friends.

    I hope this explains the privacy options a bit. So if people want privacy options, but don't want to define formal Friends, they can add other members as Contacts, which don't show but allow the same access as Friends.

    Take care,

    Sandy
     
  10. Sandy

    Sandy Registered User

    Mar 23, 2005
    6,847
    Hi Margarita,


    That is such a lovely goal and you probably come as close to achieving it as anyone on TP.

    Funnily enough (and really this is just about how different people react to the same options in their own way), I feel that by not publicly defining any one person as my friend, I will stand a better chance of trying to be a friend to all members - old and new.

    No one way is right. As long as we are still an open, welcoming and supportive forum for members, that's all that matters.

    Take care,

    Sandy
     
  11. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #51 Margarita, Apr 10, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2009
    Saying it like that In my perception it like we are competing with each other to make friends with new old member on talking point ?

    I am not doing that or going down that road .

    I suppose it just depends how you perceive it in what a friend is, what the friend part is about .

    when I said that, I know its not humanly possible for any one person to befriending every single person on talking point .That is being over realistic not real .

    Yes that what I would like us all to be one community of friends.
     
  12. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Post#49

    Sandy, thank you so much. Your post enabled me to see things more clearly .

    TP will always be a different perpective for everyone.

    Looking forward to the future.
     
  13. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    OK - admit, head not very straight at moment - is a private message still a private message? I just clicked on notifications and brought up two 'Incoming' messages .... , both appeared on the same page :eek: ...... are they private to me or can each be read by the senders? And how private are my replies?

    I've always confessed to be being a bit of a technophobe but TP is starting to freak me ..... and my mother would be telling me I am very rude not replying to 'invites' :rolleyes:

    Karen, x
     
  14. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #54 Margarita, Apr 11, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2009
    In the " Welcome of "Margarita "part is where the notifications of incoming messages drop down box is,also where you see all your friends in, albums . clicking on incoming privet message sends you into your privet messages
    if you want to send a privet message click on the private message part, your back to how talking point was in the past in sending privet messages.

    Someone else I am sure, will pop in explaining it better then I .
     
  15. KatherineW

    KatherineW Volunteer Moderator

    Oct 2, 2007
    12,654
    London
    Hi Karen

    The answer to the above is yes, and you should be able to access your private messages in exactly the same way as before.

    I suspect that these may have been 'Visitor messages'. These are public messages that other members can post on your User Profile page.

    Hope that helps a little,

    Katherine
     
  16. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Yikes!!!! So there is a distinction - and a Visitor Message is very different from a Private Message?

    That needs spelling out loud and clear, non? :eek:

    Karen, x
     
  17. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    With apologies to those who's profiles I have just 'flicked round' randomly ..... I realise I can see others' User Profiles, visitor messages etc even without being a member .....(i.e. I purposely wasn't logged in at the time) ..... my own profile I can choose for myself, what others post on my profile is not under my control yet open to the www.? :eek:

    I am feeling very disappointed, more than anything, to be honest .....

    Karen,
     
  18. KatherineW

    KatherineW Volunteer Moderator

    Oct 2, 2007
    12,654
    London
    Hi Karen

    More information about Visitor messages, and user profiles is here:

    http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/faq.php?faq=vb3_user_profile#faq_vb3_public_profile

    I'm sorry that you feel disappointed about this feature, but my understanding is that this is pretty integral to the new software.

    Said will be checking this thread next week again however, so if there are any alterations that can be made, I am sure he will post about them then.

    Katherine
     
  19. JPG1

    JPG1 Account Closed

    Jul 16, 2008
    3,396
    Katherine, is it not possible to delete any of those Visitor messages? As Karen says, they are readable by the wide world, without anyone needing to be a member or to log in. And without the 'owner' of the name being informed that those messages have been left against their name.

    Surely that can be changed?

    If it's all down to the "software", then how about a flag which would alert to the possibility of deleting the messages that Karen is talking about?

    Or even some kind of "notification" email being sent to the owner of the registered name?

    There must be a way. There is always a way.

    .
     
  20. Sandy

    Sandy Registered User

    Mar 23, 2005
    6,847
    #60 Sandy, Apr 11, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2009
    Visitor Messages

    It looks like Visitor Messages can be turned off or restricted to just contacts and moderators.

    1. Go to User CP (Control Panel - top left on green navigation bar).

    2. Choose Edit Options from the list.

    3. Scroll down the page to the section on visitor messages and tick or untick the box you desire (example attached).

    4. Scroll down to the bottom of the page and click Save Changes.

    It would be interesting if a pair of people could try the limit usage to contacts and mods option. I would think that option might mean that only Contacts and Friends could leave and view messages.

    I have turned off my visitor messages for now as I'm slightly worried about people getting confused with private messages.

    Thanks,

    Sandy
     

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