Forgetting relatives

[Charty13]

Another first in the rollercoaster that is dealing with an elderly parent having dementia. Today when visiting my Mum she asked who the people were in the gold picture frame. It was her parents and when I told her she cried for ages. I held it together until I left. But this has broken me today and I can’t stop crying! I really hate dementia and what it does to loved ones. Knowing she’s going to forget me too is just heartbreaking. 💔

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Charty13

As displayed by your Mum, names etc may be lost, but the emotions aren't.

My wife often refers to me as "That man", but still talks about me in a loving way, and a while back even wanted to marry me.

In other words, the real 'you' won't be forgotten. Take heart.

 

[Charty13]

Hello @Charty13

As displayed by your Mum, names etc may be lost, but the emotions aren't.

My wife often refers to me as "That man", but still talks about me in a loving way, and a while back even wanted to marry me.

In other words, the real 'you' won't be forgotten. Take heart.

Thank you, she definitely has all the emotions which is odd as she never used to show her emotions before. I sometimes wonder if she knows who I am, but she definitely knows I’m someone who cares about her. Just such a tough journey to be on isn’t it!

 

[KatieSimpson]

In the face of it, my mum’s forgotten who I am - she’s always asking me to check things with her daughter while I am with her. Fortunately she seems to like the daughter and often tells me how wonderful she is 😂 But simultaneously seems to know me very well, holding both the memory of having a daughter and the knowledge that the me actually present with her is someone important that she knows well. I feel that the problem is she doesn’t recognise me (I look too old?) rather than having forgotten me. I think of it like old photos fading - the pictures are gone but the feelings are still there.

 

[Hima]

Another first in the rollercoaster that is dealing with an elderly parent having dementia. Today when visiting my Mum she asked who the people were in the gold picture frame. It was her parents and when I told her she cried for ages. I held it together until I left. But this has broken me today and I can’t stop crying! I really hate dementia and what it does to loved ones. Knowing she’s going to forget me too is just heartbreaking. 💔

I'm sorry you're going through this. I have the same experience with my uncle. It is truly heartbreaking, but you're not alone in your feelings. I keep showing my uncle all the old pictures with relatives and friends. Sometimes it helps.