Hi just joined on here. I am helping care for my dad who has mixed dementia and was diagnosed last year. I had noticed changes for the last 5 years but it has taken a long time to get my mum to see and understand. We are struggling a bit at the moment with changes to his personality. Always criticising my mum . Being really negative and saying insulting things to family member. Does anyone else have this and how do you deal with it .
Fonding it hard
- Thread starter jojonumber2
- Start date
Hi @jojonumber2 and welcome to Dementia Support Forum our friendly and helpful community. I am sorry tohear about your Dad. The changes in personality and what seems like relentless negativity are common features in dementia. Many of our members have come across this and I hope that some will have suggestions on how to cope.
Hi @jojonumber2.
It's a very intense situation, to be trying to support the person with dementia (PWD) and have that support thrown back in your face. I think a lot of people end up feeling at the end of their tether.
Does he take any medication? I was a real sceptic but it has helped us a lot in the end.
One of the things to help is what you've done here, by talking about it. When I was in your position, I got some funding from the Carers Trust to have some counselling sessions.
I am relieved that we have been through some of the stages with this and I would not want to go back to earlier stages of the dementia journey. But I would say that there are stages and things do change. You have to try things and be proactive - for instance trying to bring in outside help when you know the person is completely resistant - and sometimes or often they don't work and you end up feeling a bit more desperate about it but it's better to burying your head in the sand and somehow things might progress or you might have a breakthrough, often I think because the dementia isn't staying static, it's evolving.
It's a very intense situation, to be trying to support the person with dementia (PWD) and have that support thrown back in your face. I think a lot of people end up feeling at the end of their tether.
Does he take any medication? I was a real sceptic but it has helped us a lot in the end.
One of the things to help is what you've done here, by talking about it. When I was in your position, I got some funding from the Carers Trust to have some counselling sessions.
I am relieved that we have been through some of the stages with this and I would not want to go back to earlier stages of the dementia journey. But I would say that there are stages and things do change. You have to try things and be proactive - for instance trying to bring in outside help when you know the person is completely resistant - and sometimes or often they don't work and you end up feeling a bit more desperate about it but it's better to burying your head in the sand and somehow things might progress or you might have a breakthrough, often I think because the dementia isn't staying static, it's evolving.
Hi thank-you for that. He is taking medication which has helped him be less anxious. I'm trying to help my mum and tell her the right thing to say. She is getting better but sometimes it really upsets her and she snaps back at him.
I'm just remembering how I had to leave the house sometimes and walk around to calm down. I'm not in that 'how do I get through this day' scenario now but there are very many on here who are. Just taking a few minutes out to reset can help.
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