First Home Care Visit For Spouse

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by clfgjsljadl, Sep 11, 2015.

  1. clfgjsljadl

    clfgjsljadl Registered User

    Sep 11, 2015
    1
    Disaster, as it stands today. Perhaps tomorrow, things will look different.

    Situation is that decision made to engage Home Care due to number of incidents that have happened over period of several months. Spouse reacted badly when home provider arrived, so I cancelled. More...but will not go into here.

    Has anyone experience something similar and if so would be interested to hear about actions taken and subsequent outcomes. Thanks, former IT guy, used to think knew so much, now living a very humbling present and concerned about future and learning how little I know about aging and issues that can suddenly hit swiftly to one in forehead like fork across table! Thanks for listening. First time here, just registered.
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    9,765
    Merseyside
    Welcome to TP :)
    The majority of us are all on a massive learning curve.
     
  3. Grey Lad

    Grey Lad Registered User

    Sep 12, 2014
    5,737
    North East Lincs
    Glad you have joined us as there are lots of people on here who will help in all sorts of ways. My wife sees the ladies as cleaners today even a hairdresser. I say they are here to give us both a hand. Hope something makes things easier for you soon. G L
     
  4. bemused1

    bemused1 Registered User

    Mar 4, 2012
    3,403
    Have you gone straight in to a full comprehensive package. I have carers for my husband and initially they just came twice a week. I am assuming personal care? They did nothing for the first few visits while I did his care and then took over. It's almost two years on and the agency have gone way down hill. If they send new people without warning he may easily take a dislike and tell them to f*** off out of his house. At such points I phone the agency and make sure we don't get that person again.
    This, depending on the agency can make you deeply unpopular. It may cause a lot of problems, it has me. But it is better than having the eye system fall apart.
    Keep asking, there is loads of experience here
     
  5. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,695
    Female
    Dundee
    Good morning and welcome to TP.

    As the others have said it can be hard when carers first become involved in visits to the home. I know that many people do find it easier to begin with little stories about the carer being a cleaner or a home help, or whatever, to help the carer rather than the person with dementia. Hopefully things will settle down and your OH will gradually get used to the carers.

    I'm glad you found this forum and am sure you will find lots of help and support here.
     
  6. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Whatever you do from here on, please, please do not stop the support. Get the carers on your side and see if they are allowed to document the things they see and hear your spouse saying and doing. They have so little time to do anything these days, I know, but if the results of what they find could be passed on to, say, your social worker; that might lead to a better care package, like a care home, if required.

    The only way I could get help was sadly, through the local hospital, after my husband broke his hip during one of his sundowning delusions. It was only after the hospital staff started asking me questions when things started to snowball and a care package was offered.

    Also, document things yourself and take it all to your GP. You have to start somewhere. I can see you need support. I hate that things have to go so wrong before they go right.
     

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