1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. mabbs

    mabbs Registered User

    Dec 1, 2014
    238
    Lancashire
    Yesterday I buried Phil, and now I am lost, I have no idea what I do next.

    It was a lovely service, I managed to read a short poem, but the eulogy was too much for me, I am in awe of those of you who managed to stay so strong. My daughter wrote both the eulogy and a a poem to be read out, the poem is so good I am including it, I am so very proud of her, both of my children have been such strong support for me when their own hearts are breaking. The eulogy was also marvellous, now everyone has gone home, they took me out for a meal last night, after an exhausting day a lovely meal, a couple of large glasses of wine I slept much better than I thought I would, the sun shone for us and is still shining now, I miss him terribly but somehow I sort of feel at peace, just lost.

    Goodnight Dad

    If we had just one more minute, to say what we want to say
    Buts its too late for all of that, you've had to go away

    If we had just one more minute, or two or three or four
    We'd tell you all those wonderful things we know we've said before

    If we had just one more minute to take you by the hand
    We'd lead you somewhere wonderful, super, grand

    If we had just one more minute and you were in no pain
    We would take you singing and dancing in the pouring rain

    If we had just one more minute to sing and dance and play
    We would do all these things with you any time night or day

    If we had just one more minute, oh we wish you hadn't gone
    We need you here, we want you here, but God has called you home

    If we had just one more minute to hold you in our arms so tight
    But now those minutes are gone and we have to say goodnight


    My best wishes, love and hugs to all on TP and my thanks for all the help and support, and lovely messages posted for me. Sandra xxxx
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,941
    Female
    Dundee
    Oh Sandra, how moving.

    Thinking of you and wishing you and your family strength for the days and weeks to come. x
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,884
    Kent
    The poem is poignant Sandra very moving.

    However, believing you feel peaceful even though you feel lost is so valuable. I know just how you feel, the peace is in me although the emptiness is still there.

    You are fortunate in your family, a credit to both of you, so take comfort from them and share your grief.
     
  4. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,962
    Brixham Devon
    Dear Mabbs,

    It sounds as though Phil had a goodbye to be proud of. I'm glad that you feel peaceful and you must be so thankful that you have such caring children. Try to take things slowly; cry, laugh at your good memories, and know that we are all thinking of you.

    Your Daughter's poem was so beautiful it moved me to tears

    Much love

    Lyn T XX
     
  5. marmarlade

    marmarlade Registered User

    Jan 26, 2015
    183
    the poem your daughter wrote said every thing we all think, some of us still have our partner [in the flesh] but not always in the mind, to all of us even if we still have a partner those few minutes to hold them take them out and simply love them are so wonderful just for a while, so we go home cry and cry some more but we get through and start another day.
     
  6. Rivershores

    Rivershores Registered User

    Jun 10, 2015
    11
    Dearest Sandra, thank you for sharing that poem. It was beautiful and I am glad that you have two wonderful children to share this sad time with. It sounds like you gave your husband a wonderful send off and he is now at peace. I can only imagine how your are feeling, empty, lost, strange but thankfully some peace as well. I hope you and your family find comfort over the coming weeks and that you are filled with memories of the happy times. I wish you all the very best. x
     
  7. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    A lovely and befitting "goodbye" to your darling man. If I can be of any help to you, with forms and things that need sorting out, please don't hesitate to PM me. xxx
     
  8. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    532
    Scotland
    So glad you have good family support Mabbs as together you mourn the loss of Phil. xx
     
  9. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    2,475
    London
    Sandra what a lovely poem your daughter wrote it is very moving I am glad you are getting support from you family Phil would be so proud of them.
    Sending you hugs and wishing you strength Sandi xxx
     
  10. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    A very poignant poem, your daughter has got it absolutely right. Do hope you are able to keep the sense of peace, it will take time for you to adjust, but we're all still here for you if you need us. xxxx


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  11. mabbs

    mabbs Registered User

    Dec 1, 2014
    238
    Lancashire
    thank you all so much for your kind comments and offers of help. xxx
     

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