hi, new to the forums. My mother has vascula dementia, I'm 37 years old have a full time job 4 kids of my own ranging from 2 years to 16 years one of whom has autism I also have residency of my niece since mums dementia got to the point that she couldn't care for her, my niece is8 has severe behaviour difficulties. Mum has hallucinations and is declining quickly, it's just me and my husband dealing with everything mum lives in the same street as us I have to visit and phone so many times a day do all the cooking and washing and finances and shopping etc. I just feel like I don't exist anymore as a person, there is no point in my days where I'm not caring for someone or running madly from home to work trying to juggle everything and failing, social services are putting together a direct payment package to put some care in but the negotiations with my mother to accept them will be exhausting it took nearly a year to get her to go to day care a couple days a week . Mum has just started getting incontinent feels like this is a step I can't handle, but then I thought that about the shower until last week. Everything is my fault, she hit me the other day, I know she can't help herself but I'm so tired out there are these uncontrollable waves of grief at the loss of who she was and huge anger at being in this situation Not sure I'm looking for answers just ranting about how rung out I feel.