1. Q&A: Looking after yourself as a carer - Friday 25 January, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of that person will often come before your own, and this can mean that you don't always look after yourself.

    However, it's important for both you and the person you care for. But how do you do that properly?

    Our next expert Q&A will be on looking after yourself as a carer. It will be hosted by Angelo from our Knowledge Services team, who focuses on wellbeing. He'll be answering your questions on Friday 25 January between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed

Discussion in 'Middle - later stages of dementia' started by KathrynAnne, Jan 11, 2019.

  1. KathrynAnne

    KathrynAnne Registered User

    Jun 6, 2018
    194
    Female
    South Yorkshire
    Mum has been back home with me for 2 weeks now after being in intermediate care. There has been such a dramatic change in her from before she went into hospital back in November. She has lost all mobility, needs me to give her all food and drinks and sleeps much of the time. We have had to move her from an upstairs bedroom into a downstairs room.
    I have to say the help I have had from the GP, Admiral nurse, district nurses and social services has been brilliant though. I feel lucky that I have had lots of support especially after reading some of the posts on here.
    We have 4 visits a day for personal care. Mum is self-funding but Social Services pay for 1 of the carers as she needs double handling. We have been supplied with a hospital bed which was delivered this morning. Mum is in it now and looks so much more comfortable. District nurses are coming in every other day as Mum has a pressure sore. They are sorting out different inco pads as Mum used to use the pull-ups which are no longer suitable. I’ve also put a DNAR in place and had a key safe fitted. My head is in a whirl! I’m sure things will settle down and I’ll get used to the new normal but to think Mum was going to a day centre, memory cafes and the hairdressers just 2 months ago and is now completely bedbound is a lot to get my head around!
     
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Volunteer Host

    Jul 23, 2017
    3,866
    Male
    That is certainly a major change in a short period and I wish you the strength to cope.

    I'm glad you have good support from the services.
     
  3. chickenlady

    chickenlady Registered User

    Feb 28, 2016
    59
    My Dad went from attending his dementia cafes and able to walk for short distances in early October, still playing his organ and reading music on 4th November to dead on 28th November. We were started at the sudden deterioration, from eating soft food to spitting out even the tiniest of lumps to suddenly stopping eating all together. With hindsight and the power of 6 weeks to think, I'm so glad it didn't drag on any longer. Keep talking on here, thinking of you. xx
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    67,576
    Kent
    I`m not surprised you're feeling overwhelmed @KathrynAnne , your mother`s downturn seems to have quite dramatic. Not everyone has a gradual decline but such a dramatic decline is often caused by some trauma.

    It`s wonderful you have managed to get such good care in place. I understand how distraught you must be and can only hope your mother is painfree and peaceful.
     
  5. KathrynAnne

    KathrynAnne Registered User

    Jun 6, 2018
    194
    Female
    South Yorkshire
    Thank you for your reply. It must have been a really difficult time for you but also a blessing because seeing someone slowly deteriorate is heartbreaking. Mum’s eating and drinking is definitely getting worse. She doesn’t seem to recognise what food and drink is any more. I tried her with scrambled eggs tonight thinking it would be easy for her to eat but she just moved it round her mouth and spat it out.
     
  6. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    2,091
    Nottinghamshire
    I’m sorry you’re having to face this @KathrynAnne but it does sound as though you’re managing to keep your mum comfortable and have good support.

    I know how hard a sudden deterioration is to come to terms with. It happened to my dad in summer. In June he was up to all sorts of mischief and by September he could hardly stand most of the time. In retrospect I’m glad he didn’t linger too long.

    (((Hugs)))
     

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