Father and driving

[Samilias]

Hi
My father has Alzheimer’s and probably for about 4 years now.
He is approaching 81.

Several of us are unsure of his driving but no one will go in the car to find out since I went with him a year ago. ( We all live away or not close by).

With me he argued about giving way on roundabouts. He cut people up.
Therefore I will now contact the DVLA.

He will be cut up over this. He’s alone for many years and he is adamant he’s a good driver.
Please let me know if the DVLA will be absolutely sure they won’t tell him, that his daughter has started this process of, by contacting them. It will finish our relationship.
I think I just need the support because I won’t see him for another year now.
It is so sad and I feel so guilty. He really didn’t want me to come back to my home abroad.

I think I need to do a memo book for him very soon.
I saw the changes but he still beat me at connect 4!!

 

[canary]

Hi @Samilias

Driving is a particular flashpoint with dementia.
You said that he has had a diagnosis of Alzheimers for 4 years. I wonder whether anyone told the DVLA? It is mandatory to inform the DVLA about a diagnosis of any sort of dementia and if you dont, then your insurance is invalid. It doesnt necessarily mean that you cant drive with dementia, but you have to renew the licence every year and if the DVLA are concerned about your driving they can either get you to have your driving assessed at a centre, or they can revoke it.

It does make me wonder whether your dad never informed the DVLA about his diagnosis, or even that he is driving without a licence.

I think you will have to contact the DVLA. I think you may be able to do this anonymously, but Im not certain

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @Samilias and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. I am sorry to read about your dad's dementia and your worries about his driving. If none of you are willing to get into the car with him that certainly suggests that he is not safe driving and certainly your experience of a year ago also suggests this.
Please contact the DVLA as a matter of urgency, you really would not want to have your dad involved in an accident. They should not let him know who notified them but he might guess. Is there anyone that he would listen to regarding stopping driving or is there any way to disable the car so that he cannot drive.
I have attached information on diving and dementia which you might find useful.

Driving and dementia

A diagnosis of dementia is not in itself a reason to stop driving. One in three people with dementia still drives. However, over time, dementia affects the skills needed for safe driving.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Spottydog]

You can do a third party notification to the dvla which is treated in confidence. His insurance company should also be informed.

 

[NickP]

Do you know when his license is due for renewal? We managed a very similar situation by not renewing & telling Dad the DVLA had said he couldn't drive. He was still cross & kept forgetting but in his mind it wasnt us that had 'interfered' and that helped.

 

[Kevinl]

If someone did get hurt in an accident, would you ever be able to forgive yourself. Wrong way round a roundabout and denying it sounds pretty convincing to me, don't wait for the car crash both literally or metaphorically, someone could get hurt. K

 

[Collywobbles]

My sister informed the DVLA about my mother’s dementia when we became frightened by her driving, and I emailed her GP with the things we’d seen. The DVLA contacted her GP for more information, then wrote to my mother telling her that she had to take another test in order to keep her licence. She was highly affronted but didn’t do the test and they withdrew her licence.

Family were never mentioned. As far as Mum’s concerned, the GP had a legal duty to tell the DVLA about her dementia diagnosis, and it’s all his fault!

Our big problem is that Mum doesn’t remember that she has no licence. In fact when any official asks her, she assures them that she still drives. She refuses to sell her car and still has her keys. We’re just waiting for the day she tries to drive somewhere.

 

[NickP]

@Collywobbles my dad was the same - he didn't remember and refused to accept it for some time. Sadly he did take the car out on one occasion - obviously we had to call the police- thankfully no-one was hurt and he returned home a short time later (which was very odd because he usually didn't know where he lived by then!) The police were very kind but strongly suggested that we take his key away; we did this but left him with other 'harmless' keys so he still had some in his pocket as usual. It still terrifies me to think what could have happened.