Hi,
I am new to this board and have come here on the advice of my wife. My mother has Alzheimers and the family, specifically my brother and myself have fallen out badly over whether my Mum should go into a home or not.
Mum is in the mid to late stages of the disease and she is extremely passive. My father is the carer and he is eighty and disabled.
My brother has tried to have Mum put into a home for over five years now (to my mind because it is the easiest and most convenient thing to do) and I am against it because I do not believe it is in mums best interests, put simply I dont believe she needs to be in there yet.
My father has done an amazing job and is now finding it hard to cope on his own, I live in Germany but my brother only lives five minutes away, yet I have seen more of her than he has over the year.
The problem is that my brother has spoken to social services and my Dad and persuaded them it is time for her to go in and for Dad to move as he wont want the memories. (They are treating it as if she is dead already!) I have fought a constant battle to give my Mum the dignity and respect she deserves! I feel they should try extra help at home before condeming her to a four by four white room with nothing but a bed and bedside lamp.
I feel she will die if she goes in, but I am fighting a losing battle and my Mums best interests dont seem to matter anymore. Am I really that wrong?
I am new to this board and have come here on the advice of my wife. My mother has Alzheimers and the family, specifically my brother and myself have fallen out badly over whether my Mum should go into a home or not.
Mum is in the mid to late stages of the disease and she is extremely passive. My father is the carer and he is eighty and disabled.
My brother has tried to have Mum put into a home for over five years now (to my mind because it is the easiest and most convenient thing to do) and I am against it because I do not believe it is in mums best interests, put simply I dont believe she needs to be in there yet.
My father has done an amazing job and is now finding it hard to cope on his own, I live in Germany but my brother only lives five minutes away, yet I have seen more of her than he has over the year.
The problem is that my brother has spoken to social services and my Dad and persuaded them it is time for her to go in and for Dad to move as he wont want the memories. (They are treating it as if she is dead already!) I have fought a constant battle to give my Mum the dignity and respect she deserves! I feel they should try extra help at home before condeming her to a four by four white room with nothing but a bed and bedside lamp.
I feel she will die if she goes in, but I am fighting a losing battle and my Mums best interests dont seem to matter anymore. Am I really that wrong?