Hello
My 92 year old mother has had a sudden worsening of her dementia following a recent infection (off all medication now). She resents the Enablement Team workers coming in twice a day, thinking she is entirely capable of looking after herself. My brother lives with her and over the last 4 weeks, since she has been ill, I have stayed there too.
Mum is now experiencing delusions and auditory hallucinations. Part of this means she can call out up to 5 times a night, often just for reassurance, but although she was able to independently use her commode in the night, she is now unable to do so and so calls out for help with this too.
Social Services visited today and we are in the process of arranging respite care - there is a bed available next Monday.
Please, has anyone any advice on how/when to explain this to mum. She has always been a very strong minded and independent lady. We know her immediate reaction will be a big, fat "No." She is unable to understand that she needs any help at all, or that we are finding it difficult and exhausting to care for her. Mum has not ventured outside the house for over a year now so the very thought of leaving home is going to be distressing.
She quickly forgot about the Social Worker's visit this morning. Tomorrow morning a representative from the Care Home will come to assess. Do we "come clean" that this lady is from a Care Home, which will anger her and cause distress, or keep it quiet? Is there any way to prevent a showdown on the day she is admitted for respite? I can well imagine her simply refusing to go.
My brother and I would be very grateful for any advice from anyone who has survived a similar situation.
Many thanks
Janet
My 92 year old mother has had a sudden worsening of her dementia following a recent infection (off all medication now). She resents the Enablement Team workers coming in twice a day, thinking she is entirely capable of looking after herself. My brother lives with her and over the last 4 weeks, since she has been ill, I have stayed there too.
Mum is now experiencing delusions and auditory hallucinations. Part of this means she can call out up to 5 times a night, often just for reassurance, but although she was able to independently use her commode in the night, she is now unable to do so and so calls out for help with this too.
Social Services visited today and we are in the process of arranging respite care - there is a bed available next Monday.
Please, has anyone any advice on how/when to explain this to mum. She has always been a very strong minded and independent lady. We know her immediate reaction will be a big, fat "No." She is unable to understand that she needs any help at all, or that we are finding it difficult and exhausting to care for her. Mum has not ventured outside the house for over a year now so the very thought of leaving home is going to be distressing.
She quickly forgot about the Social Worker's visit this morning. Tomorrow morning a representative from the Care Home will come to assess. Do we "come clean" that this lady is from a Care Home, which will anger her and cause distress, or keep it quiet? Is there any way to prevent a showdown on the day she is admitted for respite? I can well imagine her simply refusing to go.
My brother and I would be very grateful for any advice from anyone who has survived a similar situation.
Many thanks
Janet