Hi all,
haven't posted for a while. I first posted a few years ago ... my dad died suddenly in 2017 and I've been dealing with my mums slowly deteriorating memory ever since.
She still refused to admit there's a problem and since lockdowns 1 and 2 things are getting worse. She now for the last 6 months phones me to ask when she's going home. She's lived in her current house for 48 years - since I was a baby - and can't remember this. I remind her and show her pictures of her/me/ my dad and then she seems to accept it. I should be working right now but have just spent all morning sourcing photos which show her current home in order to make a memory book for her.
Recently she's also started talking to 'the girls' - photos of me at my graduation and my sister (who died when she was 5). At first I though she was kind of joking with me but then asked if she could give them one of the snacks I'd bought for her. She laid a cereal bar infront of each photo and left them their. The photos had been brought in from the dining room and she'd set them up facing the TV.
In the past it's always been stuff about forgetting my dad is dead but it's moved on to other stuff now. When I try and suggest going to GP or getting some advice she gets really upset/nasty or agrressive as she doesn't see that anything is wrong.
Day to day she still gets up, gets dressed and puts her make-up on but I've noticed she's been wearing the same jumper for a month now. If I offer to do washing or help her she refuses.
My partner and I do all her shopping, my partner takes her to hairdressers once a week as she can't wash her own hair (due to arthritis and osteoperosis) and I deal with all her finances, take her to any appointments., When she had her second covid jab we were leaving and she had just waited the 15 minutes and she tried to get back in the queue as had forgotten having it just 20 minutes before.
I'm at breaking point. I also have an 8 year old son who hasn't been able to go on holiday for 4 years as I'm scared to leave her for more than a couple of days. She doesn't want a cleaner, carer, or even anyone else to pop in and help. She takes any suggestion to get help as me saying that she's mad and her house is dirty. Then she tell me I'm upsetting her and that one day she'll be dead and I'll be sorry I was so horrible to her. I spend every waking hour worry about what will happen next, what she'll say and how I can deal with the next meltdown as well as having to take my son to school and do my work.
I have no living siblings and while my partner is great, it's not his mum so I feel it's all on me. I don't know what to do anymore - how can I get help for her and myself if she just doesn't want it. I feel like I'm failing as a daughter, as a mother and as a partner right now and am getting anxious and depressed.
Any advice would be much appreciated Xxx
haven't posted for a while. I first posted a few years ago ... my dad died suddenly in 2017 and I've been dealing with my mums slowly deteriorating memory ever since.
She still refused to admit there's a problem and since lockdowns 1 and 2 things are getting worse. She now for the last 6 months phones me to ask when she's going home. She's lived in her current house for 48 years - since I was a baby - and can't remember this. I remind her and show her pictures of her/me/ my dad and then she seems to accept it. I should be working right now but have just spent all morning sourcing photos which show her current home in order to make a memory book for her.
Recently she's also started talking to 'the girls' - photos of me at my graduation and my sister (who died when she was 5). At first I though she was kind of joking with me but then asked if she could give them one of the snacks I'd bought for her. She laid a cereal bar infront of each photo and left them their. The photos had been brought in from the dining room and she'd set them up facing the TV.
In the past it's always been stuff about forgetting my dad is dead but it's moved on to other stuff now. When I try and suggest going to GP or getting some advice she gets really upset/nasty or agrressive as she doesn't see that anything is wrong.
Day to day she still gets up, gets dressed and puts her make-up on but I've noticed she's been wearing the same jumper for a month now. If I offer to do washing or help her she refuses.
My partner and I do all her shopping, my partner takes her to hairdressers once a week as she can't wash her own hair (due to arthritis and osteoperosis) and I deal with all her finances, take her to any appointments., When she had her second covid jab we were leaving and she had just waited the 15 minutes and she tried to get back in the queue as had forgotten having it just 20 minutes before.
I'm at breaking point. I also have an 8 year old son who hasn't been able to go on holiday for 4 years as I'm scared to leave her for more than a couple of days. She doesn't want a cleaner, carer, or even anyone else to pop in and help. She takes any suggestion to get help as me saying that she's mad and her house is dirty. Then she tell me I'm upsetting her and that one day she'll be dead and I'll be sorry I was so horrible to her. I spend every waking hour worry about what will happen next, what she'll say and how I can deal with the next meltdown as well as having to take my son to school and do my work.
I have no living siblings and while my partner is great, it's not his mum so I feel it's all on me. I don't know what to do anymore - how can I get help for her and myself if she just doesn't want it. I feel like I'm failing as a daughter, as a mother and as a partner right now and am getting anxious and depressed.
Any advice would be much appreciated Xxx