Thank you CJ,all of you who have replied,i truly appreciate your support. I'm missing my mum so much,that the house doesn't feel like her house/home/my home anymore,the care equip company came last week and took her bed,and her room looks bare..still two wardrobes and chest of drawers belonging to mum and dad still in there.. Found lots of letters her sister had written over the years-sadly she too has dementia and I can see the decline in her handwriting as the years went by looking through them..so very sad to see..
Mums funeral is midweek,perhaps I will feel less or more lost than I feel now,the loss is immense and not the relief at times,I wished for when she was alive and in a terrible way..for peace for her,so my heart is heavy with that too..On Saturday was advised to go and get checked over at a+e as chest tightness I had been having on and off(just stress related with worry and caring for mum,as all of you know how it feels)felt worse and had a unexplained blood stained eyeball.my eldest daughter was really concerned and made me ring 111.
I didn't want to bother anyone as I know I've been there waiting with mum a few times wheeled in on a ambulance trolley and saw the pressure the dept was under.
Had bp checked,sky high,ecg ok(thank goodness)bloods done and was given a pill to dissolve under tongue,and after a minute or so massive relief! Was given aspirin and this mouth spray to take when chest hurts again.Have been referd to chest clinic,so waiting on that appt as well as memory clinic. I did think-I must had wrote the dates down wrong- I had an appt today,so turned up only to be told no,next week..!