My Dad is in the final stages of his "journey" with Mixed Dementia. He started to lose weight last Autumn and has been progressively sleepier for the past few years. He had thickened drinks and pureed meals for around 18months. However, he has been well cared at home by a team who have been outstanding. He had his last day out only the day before Father's Day (although he was asleep for quite a bit of it) and he enjoyed the Steam engines/trains on his favourite heritage railway. All changed when towards the end of the UK heatwave, a week later, when he suffered a couple of seizures. He overcame the subsequent aspiration pneumonia and UTI, but was now sleeping for more than 23 out of 24 hours. He was no longer awake enough to eat and was disinterested when something was offered. After over two weeks in hospital the Consultant pronounced EOL and he came home the following day. We were expecting he might have a few hours or maybe days at home before the inevitable. However, here he still is at plus 10 and still fighting. Now with the knowledge that he is being kept painfree and comfortable, it is those around him who are experiencing this awful final waiting and suffering. This is such a cruel disease, which robbed a highly intelligent and caring man of his final years, which could have been spent directly passing on stories of his past adventures to his grandchildren and fully sharing new ones with them. His ability to verbally communicate being one of the first things he lost.
EOL +10 and still fighting
- Thread starter KAT365
- Start date
This is heartbreaking @KAT365 . I so feel for you. As you say this horrible disease robs you bit by bit of the person you love. It's just awful, and as a family, having to witness this deterioration is so upsetting.
As you rightly say, the important thing about EOL is that your Dad is pain free and comfortable. Timewise, no-one can say as it differs so much from person to person. Even with little or no nourishment or liquid, it's amazing how long the body can go on.
Virtual hugs to you and your family. It's heartbreaking for you all, and I very much hope that when the time comes, he will pass peacefully away. Wishing you strength.
As you rightly say, the important thing about EOL is that your Dad is pain free and comfortable. Timewise, no-one can say as it differs so much from person to person. Even with little or no nourishment or liquid, it's amazing how long the body can go on.
Virtual hugs to you and your family. It's heartbreaking for you all, and I very much hope that when the time comes, he will pass peacefully away. Wishing you strength.
This EOL waiting period is terrible and can be harrowing. My mum went 17 days with no food or fluid whatsoever. I do not know how she managed it - the body seems to cling to life much longer than you would think possible.
Sometimes they seem to rally and then you are into a terrible roller coaster.
((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))
Sometimes they seem to rally and then you are into a terrible roller coaster.
((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))
Thank you. He was so thin before this and now... I don't know where his reserves are coming from.
I really do feel for you Kat365. My Dad also lost reliable speech very early on and actually, that for us has been one of the very worst things to come to terms with. Sending you hugs xx
Yes, it is part of the process.
My mum was beyond thin, she was skeletal by the end. I did not know how she could still be alive.
I'm afraid that physical changes that happen can be distressing if you are not expecting them. You will find that her limbs will become cold, there will be mottling of the skin and her breathing will change so that there are gaps between breaths. Try and accept it as part of the dying process.
((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))
I'm sorry to read that Kat, although it is expected it is still an awful loss for you. It's a nice turn of phrase - 'gained his wings' it conjures up thoughts of your Dad soaring away from his damaged body to a better place x
Thank you. At least I know he is no longer suffering, the past month has been awful.
