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End of life - mum fighting it at 69


Registered User
Nov 13, 2014
Chloe and sadscot. Please don't beat yourself up about whether you did enough. Please remember that this disease kills the brains functions. We can't see what's happening inside just the result of it. Not eating, sleeping more, loss of speech. There is nothing we could have done to help them live longer. I have spent so.many hours trying to get my mum to eat but only realised towards the end it was futile. Is so difficult but that's the only way I can justify what has happened to her. She dies as peacefully as possible and I am remembering the good times we have had together not how she was at the end.
It's not our fault it's the disease.


Registered User
Mar 2, 2016
I agree, we all go through the same thinking was it the meds, but if we did not give the meds then our loved ones would have been more tormented. It is the illness that kills them and nothing we can do can prevent this. It seems the end stages are not eating and drinking, I think the body knows when its as had enough.
We should all be proud stop beating ourselves up and know we all did and as some are still doing our very best to cope with this hatred illness and don't let it destroy us to
You have all done a wonderful job. x


Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
West Midlands
I kept strongly in my mind when mum was dying....

She not dying because she's not eating and drinking, she is not eating and drinking because she is dying

2 weeks tomorrow since mum died. It still feels like yesterday

Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point


Registered User
Jun 28, 2016
Thank you all for your words of support. It is reassuring to know that I'm not the only one who feels worried they did something wrong. Dad's funeral is now over. I feel empty and so so sad. I am still beating myself up, trying to process everything that has happened over the past 8 months since dad first went into hospital- wondering if at any point I could have done something differently and changed the outcome. Deep down I probably know that I couldn't but I can't seem to stop going over it in my head. It's not helpful and I know my dad would hate me to be agonising like this. But my brain just keeps on going, making me panic inside. I hope this feeling will pass. I miss dad a lot. Feels like there is an enormous hole in my life now.

Sending everyone else lots of love and hoping you are feeling better - though it is very early days and we all know it's going to take time...