Dear Mameeskye and all of you who are at similar stages on this journey,
my heart really goes out to you. Reading your posts much reminded me of going through these stages with my nan and aunt, and gramps to an extent. I only ever cared from a distance since I'm not in the UK, and every time I came home to visit, the loss of certain abilities struck me. Kicked me in the face, more like.
I would notice deterioration on the phone when speaking to my aunt, and I would see it first-hand in my nan and aunt when I was with them. Cups of tea that couldn't be made any more, not knowing what coffee spoons were for, not being able to pay at the till in the supermarket, not knowing how to dress and put a coat on.
And later in the hospital, those things that you describe above...and on each visit, another little bit gone, but a lot of nan or gramps or aunty was still there too... I used to cry most times going from the NH or the hospital, and leaving altogether after visits to the UK broke my heart because I never knew if I would see nan and gramps and my aunt again. I used to try and remember really hard what they looked like on each visit, what they were wearing, the expressions on their faces, the smiles, the flickers of recognition, the returning of pressure when I used to hold their hands.
And all the time, so hard to grasp that this was happening to them and how cruel it was...they were strong, good, kind people. Independent, knew what they wanted, enjoying life. Happily married for 50 and more years. Loved seeing the children and grandchildren and any friends and relatives who visited or kept in touch. Always active, smart and on the go. On top of things. Only to be struck down by this awful disease.
Sorry, Mameeskye, I've hijacked your thread a bit here. Just wanted to say really that I feel for you all. But keep going and just keep doing things the same way as you are doing now...be there, hold hands, provide comfort, love and care, be it in your own homes, in hospitals, in nursing homes, it doesn't matter where. It will be noticed, felt and appreciated. But it is so hard on you, I realise that.
Thinking of you.
Love, Tina xxx