Does anyone experience emotional blackmail and if so how do you deal with it? My mum has vascular dementia in a mild form. She has been experiencing some behaviour issues recently. She lives miles away from me and I have agreed with her to visit her three times a year which is all I can do because I live so far away and it is very expensive. I have to pay train fare and accommodation. Today she said she wants me to see her more often but if I do I will be broke. She then said she is 92 and does not know how much longer she will live and how would I feel if she passed away knowing that I did not go to see her very often and then it would be too late. We agreed that I should go three times a year for three days because a four day visit is almost £300 and I simply cannot afford a lot of visits. It was her choice to move so far away. If she was near me I would visit her three times a week. I have not had a holiday for years because I spend all my spare money going to visit my mother which I do not mind but it is absolutely impossible for me to go more often because I would get into debt. She feels neglected but I do not see what else I can do under the circumstances.