Here I am 31yrs of age, my 61yr old father in an old folks home with early onset dementia, last stages (whatever that is) and yesterday I get a phone call at work from my husband - there was an emergency...
'Oh my god, Dad' I thought, it must be bad because hubby doesn't ring about simple falls...but then I looked at the message he had left me again and it read 'Can you call me please your mum has flipped out'
'Flipped out' ?? What did he mean by that, had she collapsed in tears over all her stresses living with dad's disease? Had she gotten angry at my husband about something he might have said about the stresses I am under, trying to care for Dad when her interest comes and goes? What did he mean 'flipped out'??
What he meant by 'flipped out' when I rushed to where he and mum were, was that she had lost the plot, my mother was in the grips of what we now know was either what is termed 'transient global amnesia' or 'transient ischemic attack' (the latter being a mini-stroke, the former an unexplained episode of amnesia). And what that meant was that for the next 5 hours my mother could not remember anything that happened to her for longer than about 2 minutes and then for the following 7hours she began to remember some things but still was having troubles, all whilst remaining completely conscious.
What that meant was I had the same conversation with her every 2 minutes for 5 hours, and I mean exactly the same for even if I changed my answers her questions remained the same (lucky I have had some experience talking to people like this before - ) As I got her to wait for the ambulance, then at the hospital, she doesn't remember anything about the period from 1030am to 4pm and the remainder of the day to midnight when we checked out of the hospital is sketchy to say the least.
I want to talk about it on here because, I know I should be feeling upset or shocked or something, by it all, despite the fact that she seems fairly ok today and is out of hospital although being monitored. But I'm feeling rather numb, I thought typing on here would help but it isn't, but i will keep going in the hopes that perhaps responses will wake me out of this stupour.
Of course I fear that this is a sign my mother too is heading down dad's path, and although the doctors and anyone who reads this will probably say that these attacks might be due to her own stresses, are shown to not be linked to dementia etc, I'm afraid that her condition yesterday was just too much like dad's fellow inmates behaviours for me to feel comfortable about it. Also now that she has had the attack I am starting to realise I have noticed that she has been a bit whacky for a while now, I thought she was attention seeking or just being an outright liar, now I am wondering if she is losing her grip completely.
Why me, why us? My husband must wonder what the hell kind of family he married into, why can't we just have something simple (dangerous but straightforward) like a heart attack...why do we have to have brain related stuff happen?? I am so sick of this shhhh...well u know what i mean! I am saying all this, but I am feeling no emotion. Amusingly (although not funny) I know from past experience its going to come, I can't just have this kind of thing happen in my life where I am already stretched to the limit by stress, and have it pass unscathed, I am just sitting here numbly wondering when it is going to hit, when am I going to burst into tears?
'Oh my god, Dad' I thought, it must be bad because hubby doesn't ring about simple falls...but then I looked at the message he had left me again and it read 'Can you call me please your mum has flipped out'
'Flipped out' ?? What did he mean by that, had she collapsed in tears over all her stresses living with dad's disease? Had she gotten angry at my husband about something he might have said about the stresses I am under, trying to care for Dad when her interest comes and goes? What did he mean 'flipped out'??
What he meant by 'flipped out' when I rushed to where he and mum were, was that she had lost the plot, my mother was in the grips of what we now know was either what is termed 'transient global amnesia' or 'transient ischemic attack' (the latter being a mini-stroke, the former an unexplained episode of amnesia). And what that meant was that for the next 5 hours my mother could not remember anything that happened to her for longer than about 2 minutes and then for the following 7hours she began to remember some things but still was having troubles, all whilst remaining completely conscious.
What that meant was I had the same conversation with her every 2 minutes for 5 hours, and I mean exactly the same for even if I changed my answers her questions remained the same (lucky I have had some experience talking to people like this before - ) As I got her to wait for the ambulance, then at the hospital, she doesn't remember anything about the period from 1030am to 4pm and the remainder of the day to midnight when we checked out of the hospital is sketchy to say the least.
I want to talk about it on here because, I know I should be feeling upset or shocked or something, by it all, despite the fact that she seems fairly ok today and is out of hospital although being monitored. But I'm feeling rather numb, I thought typing on here would help but it isn't, but i will keep going in the hopes that perhaps responses will wake me out of this stupour.
Of course I fear that this is a sign my mother too is heading down dad's path, and although the doctors and anyone who reads this will probably say that these attacks might be due to her own stresses, are shown to not be linked to dementia etc, I'm afraid that her condition yesterday was just too much like dad's fellow inmates behaviours for me to feel comfortable about it. Also now that she has had the attack I am starting to realise I have noticed that she has been a bit whacky for a while now, I thought she was attention seeking or just being an outright liar, now I am wondering if she is losing her grip completely.
Why me, why us? My husband must wonder what the hell kind of family he married into, why can't we just have something simple (dangerous but straightforward) like a heart attack...why do we have to have brain related stuff happen?? I am so sick of this shhhh...well u know what i mean! I am saying all this, but I am feeling no emotion. Amusingly (although not funny) I know from past experience its going to come, I can't just have this kind of thing happen in my life where I am already stretched to the limit by stress, and have it pass unscathed, I am just sitting here numbly wondering when it is going to hit, when am I going to burst into tears?
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