Driving concerns

[Angel 4]

Hello,
My husband had FAD, he’s not working anymore but still driving, his job did involve a lot of driving. He has always been the driver in our family. We have notified the DVLA and he had his license back on a yearly basis. We are waiting for them to confirm for this year..
I drive too and I’m passenger when he drives most of the time. I have noticed that he’s patience with other drivers is getting worse and he is taking unnecessary risks at times, like yesterday he pulled out in front of a car that was going fairly fast causing them to break hard and beep! His response was to give them a certain hand gesture! When I commented that he did pull out on them he didn’t like it and it caused a whole evening of upset!
How do you deal with this situation 😩 it feels like another battle I’ve got to take on and at the moment I don’t think I can cope.
Thanks for reading x

 

[Grannie G]

Oh Gosh! @Angel 4. Driving is one of the biggest causes of conflict among most people with dementia.

My husband also drove for a living and it was only falling and breaking his arm which caused him to lose confidence after 8 weeks without driving.

My mother was an advanced motorist and belonged to veteran drivers. I had to inform the DVLA she was unfit to drive because when she did drive she was `king of the road`.

If you have concerns, and I think you do, I would inform the DVLA in confidence before they confirm his fitness to drive. However angry he will be it is far better than causing an accident.

I know it`s a big ask and more and more is put on already worn down carers but it will be the lesser of two evils.

 

[nitram]

You could contact the DVLA explaining that his licence is due for renewal and that you are becoming increasingly concerned about his ability giving examples of his actions.

 

[sapphire turner]

My OH was the same, pulling out in front of vehicles going fast, and getting in the wrong lane then pulling across way too late. In the end I had to say that I didn’t want to be in the car when he was driving. I didn’t say he couldn’t drive on his own but he did stop driving altogether after that. However he blames me daily and still thinks he is a better driver than me

 

[DawnR]

My husband had a transport business, he drove all over Europe and also rode a motorbike. He always said he was a better driver than me.
I had to stop him driving 4 years ago when he went the wrong way round a roundabout, thankfully there was no other traffic about at the time. It broke my heart to take away his independence.
He accepted it, but recently has started complaining to friends and family that I took his license away and he’s a better driver than me!
I would never have forgiven myself if he had caused an accident, his moaning is a small price to pay.

 

[Angel 4]

My husband had a transport business, he drove all over Europe and also rode a motorbike. He always said he was a better driver than me.
I had to stop him driving 4 years ago when he went the wrong way round a roundabout, thankfully there was no other traffic about at the time. It broke my heart to take away his independence.
He accepted it, but recently has started complaining to friends and family that I took his license away and he’s a better driver than me!
I would never have forgiven myself if he had caused an accident, his moaning is a small price to pay.

It’s so hard isn’t it, it’s a huge loss of independence. Thank you for your reply, I feel so alone in all of this, it’s comforting to know I’m not x