Firstly, thank you all for your lovely posts of support and congratulations. When I visited John today, I gave the Manager a piece of paper with the name and phone number of the guy who is dealing with his care costs, and I'd also written the words "not sharing" on the paper.
The Manager just nodded her head, and said John had a very disturbed night, so they'd let him sleep, he'd had a bath and was now being dressed. So I went to his room, where one carer was stripping the bed, and the other dressing him, and shortly afterwards the Manager came in and said "we'll be moving this second bed out this week, as it won't be needed".
I think it's true that both the homes and the council may ask for top up fees, because it enables them to keep within their budgets, and the Care Home owners are running a business. But though it was hard work, sorting all this out, it means I can afford John's contribution, and won't have to resort to living on bread and scrape!