Don’t know what to do

[Ally191612]

After some advice, my mum is in the process of being diagnosed had brain scans just waiting on results, she been getting worse for a while but tonight she had a complete meltdown she started to send me messages asking for help saying she needs to go home where she use to live as a child and get away from the horrible man
So I phoned my parents house and she was trying to leave saying she didn’t live there and needed to get away from the horrible man which was my dad 😭 he’s not horrible
She wouldn’t listen, I didn’t know what to do so told my dad to leave my sister was there too, he did leave and she calmed down but slept in another room, I found out she done the same on holidays with my dad last week too, we don’t know what to do in this situation and why this is happening,it seem to get worse in the night and evening,
Sorry for the rant

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

After some advice, my mum is in the process of being diagnosed had brain scans just waiting on results, she been getting worse for a while but tonight she had a complete meltdown she started to send me messages asking for help saying she needs to go home where she use to live as a child and get away from the horrible man
So I phoned my parents house and she was trying to leave saying she didn’t live there and needed to get away from the horrible man which was my dad 😭 he’s not horrible
She wouldn’t listen, I didn’t know what to do so told my dad to leave my sister was there too, he did leave and she calmed down but slept in another room, I found out she done the same on holidays with my dad last week too, we don’t know what to do in this situation and why this is happening,it seem to get worse in the night and evening,
Sorry for the rant

To leave his home under these circumstances, your Dad must be the loveliest man.

It sounds as though your Mum is sun downing i.e. getting worse towards the end of the day. Please contact her GP and ask for help.

 

[Ally191612]

To leave his home under these circumstances, your Dad must be the loveliest man.

It sounds as though your Mum is sun downing i.e. getting worse towards the end of the day. Please contact her GP and ask for help.

He really is so this must be so hard for him
I have heard of sun downing what is it ?

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Ally191612.

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and dad. It must be very worrying for you and your dad. It might be worth trying to get your mum checked for a urine infection. A UTI can play havoc with a person’s dementia.

It does sound like sundowning too though. This link explains a bit about it -

Sundowning and dementia

Sometimes a person with dementia will behave in ways that are difficult to understand in the late afternoon or early evening. This is known as 'Sundowning'.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[canary]

During this time when it sounds like she is sundowning, it also sounds like she is "time shifting". This is where their mind travels back a previous time and it seems as though your mums mind travels back to the time when she was still living with her parents before she met your dad, so she doesnt recognise him.

Is he (and you and your sister) trying to persuade your mum that her is her husband when she doesnt recognise him? If so, she wont believe it at this time and will think that he is an old man pretending to be her husband when she is a young woman. This may be the reason why she thinks that he is horrible. If she doesnt recognise him its best not to try and persuade her that he is her husband, but to just say that he is someone who has been asked (maybe by her parents) to keep her safe