Hi
My mum passed away 8 weeks ago due to end stage dementia. It was a very difficult time and I was more devastated than I could have imagined. I thought I might just feel relief for her but of course it's not that easy. What came after added to our grief.
We were unaware but she was subject to a DoLS (deprivation of liberty) which means this automatically goes to the coroner. As it was Easter we only found this out a week after her death when we went to register the death. We had booked the funeral for 3 and a half weeks after her passing. Anyway, we then tried to contact the coroners office to get whatever paperwork we needed from them to go ahead with the funeral. And here's where the hell began!!! Many calls and emails sent and they ignored every single one! The funerals director also tried and even the home where mum had been a resident. All ignored too.
I contacted our local councillor and he got in touch with someone at the DoLS team. She was great but they ignored her calls too!!!!
I ended up going to their office, my two young children in tow and crying in reception! They didn't come out to see me but sent a message to say it would all be sorted in time for the funeral.
i didn't realise at the time but the lady from the DoLS team had gone there too in desperation. She discovered we had to attend the inquest a few days later....something we had no idea we had to do! Eventually someone from the coroners office called and said everyone on the DoLS register had an inquest and in every case a family member has to attend. She said don't worry as it's very informal.
We arrived at the inquest and walked in and it was a court room!!!! I had to answer questions about mum after taking an oath! Very simple questions like 'What was your mum's condition like in the last 3 months?'
Nothing they couldn't get from doctors and nurses who saw mum. It was extremely emotional to go through this. And certainly not informal!!
I just wondered if anyone else has had a similar experience?
I feel very strongly that it's wrong that families have to deal with this. I understand the need for DoLS. But the coroner problems are terrible and add to our grief. If I find it's a common problem in the UK then I plan to try and do something about it.
It may just be Coventry where we live.
Thanks
My mum passed away 8 weeks ago due to end stage dementia. It was a very difficult time and I was more devastated than I could have imagined. I thought I might just feel relief for her but of course it's not that easy. What came after added to our grief.
We were unaware but she was subject to a DoLS (deprivation of liberty) which means this automatically goes to the coroner. As it was Easter we only found this out a week after her death when we went to register the death. We had booked the funeral for 3 and a half weeks after her passing. Anyway, we then tried to contact the coroners office to get whatever paperwork we needed from them to go ahead with the funeral. And here's where the hell began!!! Many calls and emails sent and they ignored every single one! The funerals director also tried and even the home where mum had been a resident. All ignored too.
I contacted our local councillor and he got in touch with someone at the DoLS team. She was great but they ignored her calls too!!!!
I ended up going to their office, my two young children in tow and crying in reception! They didn't come out to see me but sent a message to say it would all be sorted in time for the funeral.
i didn't realise at the time but the lady from the DoLS team had gone there too in desperation. She discovered we had to attend the inquest a few days later....something we had no idea we had to do! Eventually someone from the coroners office called and said everyone on the DoLS register had an inquest and in every case a family member has to attend. She said don't worry as it's very informal.
We arrived at the inquest and walked in and it was a court room!!!! I had to answer questions about mum after taking an oath! Very simple questions like 'What was your mum's condition like in the last 3 months?'
Nothing they couldn't get from doctors and nurses who saw mum. It was extremely emotional to go through this. And certainly not informal!!
I just wondered if anyone else has had a similar experience?
I feel very strongly that it's wrong that families have to deal with this. I understand the need for DoLS. But the coroner problems are terrible and add to our grief. If I find it's a common problem in the UK then I plan to try and do something about it.
It may just be Coventry where we live.
Thanks