Hi there
Please can I ask for some advice?
My mother was diagnosed with mild dementia in May 2016 and has refused all outside care. My brother and I care for her between us.
My mum looks after herself totally and just needs help with delivery of food and the running of her bungalow.
I have to be objective here by saying that she has deteriorated over the past year (she nearly 92) in that she does not retain any information now but I can hold a conversation with her just.
My later father left mum very well looked after financially and Mum had agreed for an LPA to be set up for both my brother and me to use when the time came.
I have not got involved with Mum's finances and it has been left to my older brother to deal with those affairs. Mum just felt more comfortable with him dealing with her money. I trust my brother, or I did until tonight.
My brother is involved with selling his house and buying a new one. He has just told me that due to a break in the chain it means that he would have buy two houses or, in effect, arrange bridging loan. My brother has just spoken to Mum asking if it would be okay to borrow £250,000 from her to cover the housing short fall. Of course she's agreed to it, on the provisio that I sanction it as I am the second signatory on the LPA.
He has spoken to me about this to see if I am okay with it and I told him I was, of course. He said that he would need to speak to Mum's Solicitor and set the wheels in motion and that it could be that I would need to sign an agreement. I want to help my brother, its family.
I pointed out Mum's memory issues but my brother thought the Solicitor would simply just see Mum and he/she would decide if she has capacity to agree to hand over quite a large sum of cash. I told him I thought that the Solicitor would want to see mum'medical records and maybe have Mum capacity re-assessed.
I felt that I was throwing up to many objections but I suppose my gut feeling is Mum doesn't really know what she is agreeing to and just wants to help her son.
I have since thought about it and I am thinking would my brother have asked this amount from my father if he were alive? Is my brother taking advantage of the knowledge that Mum is wealthy, trusting an vulnerable? Or am I just being cynical? I would like to think that my brother has my mother's best interests at heart.
After the discussion with my brother he said that he wanted to take time to think about it, after I pointed out mum's failing memory.
Should I agree to support my brother's request for me to agree access to funds or should I stick to my guns around my doubts around mum's capacity?
Mum will not go to the GP around her memory, she just buries her head in the sand.
Please can I ask for some advice?
My mother was diagnosed with mild dementia in May 2016 and has refused all outside care. My brother and I care for her between us.
My mum looks after herself totally and just needs help with delivery of food and the running of her bungalow.
I have to be objective here by saying that she has deteriorated over the past year (she nearly 92) in that she does not retain any information now but I can hold a conversation with her just.
My later father left mum very well looked after financially and Mum had agreed for an LPA to be set up for both my brother and me to use when the time came.
I have not got involved with Mum's finances and it has been left to my older brother to deal with those affairs. Mum just felt more comfortable with him dealing with her money. I trust my brother, or I did until tonight.
My brother is involved with selling his house and buying a new one. He has just told me that due to a break in the chain it means that he would have buy two houses or, in effect, arrange bridging loan. My brother has just spoken to Mum asking if it would be okay to borrow £250,000 from her to cover the housing short fall. Of course she's agreed to it, on the provisio that I sanction it as I am the second signatory on the LPA.
He has spoken to me about this to see if I am okay with it and I told him I was, of course. He said that he would need to speak to Mum's Solicitor and set the wheels in motion and that it could be that I would need to sign an agreement. I want to help my brother, its family.
I pointed out Mum's memory issues but my brother thought the Solicitor would simply just see Mum and he/she would decide if she has capacity to agree to hand over quite a large sum of cash. I told him I thought that the Solicitor would want to see mum'medical records and maybe have Mum capacity re-assessed.
I felt that I was throwing up to many objections but I suppose my gut feeling is Mum doesn't really know what she is agreeing to and just wants to help her son.
I have since thought about it and I am thinking would my brother have asked this amount from my father if he were alive? Is my brother taking advantage of the knowledge that Mum is wealthy, trusting an vulnerable? Or am I just being cynical? I would like to think that my brother has my mother's best interests at heart.
After the discussion with my brother he said that he wanted to take time to think about it, after I pointed out mum's failing memory.
Should I agree to support my brother's request for me to agree access to funds or should I stick to my guns around my doubts around mum's capacity?
Mum will not go to the GP around her memory, she just buries her head in the sand.