1. elaine1961

    elaine1961 Registered User

    May 29, 2015
    3
    cheshire
    My mum is sitting there crying calling for her mum and saying she doesnt want to stay here anymore i have lived with her for years and done everything i cane for her i know she might be fine tomorrow i dont know what to and she hasnt been out of the house due to anxiety for 18months dont know hiw to stimulate her and she sometimes appears like nothing can comfort her
     
  2. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    346
    Essex
    Elaine oh you poor love I am so sorry to hear your pain in your post. It must be so hard and you must feel totally alone but you are not, really you are not. We are all here in this boat with you even though we are miles apart. You are doing everything you can and the person who is really your Mum will know and appreciate that even though she is not in control of herself right now. Stay strong and know there is a legion of TP people behind you hon xxx
     
  3. John55

    John55 Registered User

    May 29, 2015
    1
    West Midlands
    Dear Elaine,

    Oh dear. My Mum, aged 92, is the same. She can have periods of depression, which come and go, but is a classic Sundowner. At 4p.m. every day until whenever she stops (usually 4 hours minimum), we know we're in for it. At these times she will cry for her mother, pester us incessantly to arrange taxi's and ferries to take her "home", although she has lived with my wife and I for 20 months. She becomes very confused and demanding (to see long dead relatives) and now, recently after two further T.I.A.'s, aggressive when we don't do what she wants, weeping and blaming us. She cannot be distracted, such is her agitation. Her distress is most distressing because we've found nothing that can relieve her unless it is a visit by her remaining sister (aged 96 and she lives 400 miles away).

    We've spoken with her G.P. and have arranged to have both Social Services and the local Mental Health Trust come out to make a further assessment. Maybe there's a medication. An American friend of mine has suggested Melatonin, which is naturally produced when we go to sleep but it's unavailable in the UK.

    We simply know this is a very tough place for you. Our local Alzheimer's Group have a befriending service. Sometimes a visit by one of their members can be helpful. Just make sure your G.P. knows what is happening.

    I hope this helps
     
  4. Dawnee1418

    Dawnee1418 Registered User

    Feb 22, 2015
    31
    Feel for you

    Hi Elaine I've lived with my parents for years after I had to give up my nursing career due to illness. My dad keeps asking to go home he doesn't like it here in this house the house they've lived for 58 years. He rings my brother to come take him home. It's as if they've gone back to their childhood home, or an earlier address to the one they live. I really think they get depressed when they can't get back to the place they recognise as home. We just try to change the subject. I downloaded a book on iPad "The Dementia Experience" Jennifer Ghent Fuller then bought it for my mum to read it has really helped us understand the different stages & things they do & say. Especially when dad was wanting me to get in bed with him. I was prepared for that.
     

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