My nan got diagnosed about 8 years ago now. She stayed home with carers coming in for about a year but she needs more care so we placed her into a residential care home. The difference it made was great she was happier, cleaner, well fed etc. She had been fine until 6 months ago when she had to go the hospital because her diabeties couldn't be controlled they put it down to gout. Since leaving the hospital a a few.months after the home put her on pureed food but apparently she's refusing to eat it they spoon feed her but she won't have much. She can feed herself she just refuses. She is now bed bound for the last week and can't straighten her legs of turn over. Apparently she's refusing to get out of bed. She's also bleeding alot from down below but they don't want to test as nothing they can do anyway and it would upset her I think. She can remember people still and old memorys so memory hasn't completely gone and she is able to talk. Does this sound like the end stages? They have mentioned palliative care but not said when they would start it. How long would someone last like this for ? The home is rubbish and telling us nothing at all. We are putting a complaint in and I feel they are neglecting her. No heating ever on room is 17 nan is sat in small nightie no socks. In the dark as no bulbs it's a joke.
Does this sound like the last stage?
- Thread starter Forgetmenot19
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Oh my goodness. @Forgetmenot19 so sorry to hear about your nan.
Its such a difficult call to make, what is end stage? what is end of life? Sometimes PWD take a turn for the worse and then plateau. So they don't get any worse but obviously they don't bounce back.
Does your nan get a GP visit at the CH? Could you be there and talk to the Dr.? Also, why are there no light bulbs in her room? Maybe you could take some next time you go up. Also, a day blanket or throw that she can have around her during the day?
Its so frustrating isn't it, good luck and thinking of you
xx
Its such a difficult call to make, what is end stage? what is end of life? Sometimes PWD take a turn for the worse and then plateau. So they don't get any worse but obviously they don't bounce back.
Does your nan get a GP visit at the CH? Could you be there and talk to the Dr.? Also, why are there no light bulbs in her room? Maybe you could take some next time you go up. Also, a day blanket or throw that she can have around her during the day?
Its so frustrating isn't it, good luck and thinking of you
xx
Hello @Forgetmenot19
I’m sorry to read about your nan’s recent decline. If the home have mentioned palliative care then they are thinking that the end is not far away.
At this stage I agree invasive treatment would just be upsetting and would also be unlikely to do any good.
please remember that your nan is not eating because she is dying, not the other way around so food should be offered but not forced on someone at this stage.
I’m concerned that the room is cold and unlit. This is neglect and shouldn’t be happening. It needs putting right immediately. Speak to the manager of the home, there may be a reason why this is happening but they should have a contingency plan and at least be able to put a lamp and a heater into her room to make her more comfortable.
I’m sorry to read about your nan’s recent decline. If the home have mentioned palliative care then they are thinking that the end is not far away.
At this stage I agree invasive treatment would just be upsetting and would also be unlikely to do any good.
please remember that your nan is not eating because she is dying, not the other way around so food should be offered but not forced on someone at this stage.
I’m concerned that the room is cold and unlit. This is neglect and shouldn’t be happening. It needs putting right immediately. Speak to the manager of the home, there may be a reason why this is happening but they should have a contingency plan and at least be able to put a lamp and a heater into her room to make her more comfortable.
@Bunpoots I've spoken to several members they keep saying they will get a bulb and then they just don't. And when I mention the heating they turn it on but it should be on constant in my opinion and days I don't go are they not turning it on. I'm also wondering if she should be sharing a room while bedbound because it feels wrong to visit her while another lady is in bed asleep? And having no radio or tv in room is a little upsetting for me as she's just stairing at the ceiling x
@JoannePat Yes think I'm just going buy a bulb and do it my self be quicker! I did buy clothes for Christmas but seeing as she is now bed bound she isn't wearing clothes again so thinking of a photo blanket she can look at but also keep her warm x
They need the maintenance man to come and put the bulb in..Do they have a maintenance book?? It is a right pain these days in care.
Maybe seen the Manager/Deputy to chase it up.
The carers are not allowed to put it in .Heating is usually timers.
@TNJJ if heating is on times but is dropping to 17 it really should be put on constant or higher because that is freezing to me never mind the frail elderly who are just sat still. Yes they have a maintenance man but everytime I ask to see him he goes missing! I've asked about taking a tv in but I need to know about areal and freeview but he never gets back to me about it. The communivation is shocking! I'd like to get an answer straight away not 2 weeks later. I've tried asking to speak to manager but they avoid me at all costs. When I did go the other day manager was there and the lady who let me in asked her if I could go down see my nan and the manager said yes but don't tell them anything. Seems like something's going on that they don't want the family to know about.
I usually catch the manager in the office.I start chatting then sit down.Its kind of hard to throw someone out when they are sat down.
@TNJJ very true I'd probably do the same if I could but the managers office is downstairs and you need several codes to go down just finding a staff member to let me out is like finding a needle in a haystack! I'm guessing they are seriously understaffed as it took them just over an hour get my nan a drink the other day.
They probably are but that isn’t the point..You definitely need to keep an eye on it.
Like others on here have said it’s very hard to know how long , my mum was on end of life care with palliative care in March after being bed bound , not able to straighten legs etc she was given days / weeks and moved to Nursing home all very stressful. Nine months on she’s still alive mainly down to the excellent care she’s receiving. Hasn’t been up for months totally dependant on turning , feeding , very little communication in fact she’s just existing terribly sad . Mum has no other health conditions her heart is strong so this is where it is hard to say how long . It’s not a situation I feel easy with as I know she wishes to die it’s sad knowing she’s so unhappy but I talk to her and try to be positive, although I to wish she would just slip away and be at peace .
This care home sounds absolutely appalling and I think you need to insist the heating is turned up, and a light bulb put in by the time of your next visit, or report them. Some bed socks and a warm bed jacket may be nice too for your nan. She is being treated cruelly. Contact your local adult social care at the council.
