Does anyone just give up?

[1954]

MIL has 'lost' her brush and comb. She keeps them in her handbag......always. They went missing a couple of days ago. She never takes her handbag out as I don't see any reason for her to. I have given her my one and only brush. I don't brush my hair as it is extremely curly and fragile and breaks easily

Anyway my question is does anyone just give up on looking for things ferretted away? I have just spent ages looking EVERYWHERE normal and abnormal and can't find her brush and comb!

xx

 

[Saffie]

Even in normal life, I find that if you can manage without something and stop looking, it invariably turns up! Have to stop looking though!

 

[loveahug]

Must admit we're quite philosophical these days. 'If it's not binned it'll turn up' is our mantra. Brother is distraught as a box of family photo's have disappeared but I had to stop him frantically searching as it made mum equally distraught, it taught us a lesson.

It's exhausting enough dealing with dementia to waste energy time looking for 'stuff' just adds to it all.

Best of luck

 

[jeany123]

I give up, I would just be looking forever if I didn't as Allen is so good at hiding things, sometimes they turn up within a couple of days sometimes ages and sometimes never at all,

 

[CeliaW]

I am planning to win the Euro tonight and run away....

The only thing lost is my sanity today... still waiting for the carer tonight issue to be sorted....

 

[Nick99]

We have had loads of things gone missing, hearing aid, hearing aid batteries, glasses, kettle, money, clothes, the notebook we leave, the notice board we have put up with our contact details, etc. Something's are not missing FIL simply cannot see them even when they are in front of him. The notice board is exactly where it should be but when we direct him to it over the phone he cannot see it, the kettle is in the same place but he thought he had lost it.

There is a difference between losing something and hiding it. We have decided that he often hides things and then forgets where he puts them. We have found his tablets hidden under the mattress and money in his sock draw. His wallet often goes missing but we always find it. We think that once we set him off looking for something he forgets what he is looking for. Many of our phone calls are about lost items but the only thing that has concerned us was his hearing aid batteries, so we have hidden a supply in his bungalow for when he phones.

Have you decided if she has lost her brush or hidden it?

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Duplicates help.

I use up a lot of time searching because it's hard to give up when the person who " couldn't possibly have lost it" won't stop searching. In this house it's mostly specs and keys.

Specs are easy, we both use off the peg reading magnifiers, so I've bought lots of identical pairs!

Keys are more difficult....I've had duplicates cut so they are hidden away, and have labelled each key with coloured tags, but they still go missing most days, turning up in strange places, though mostly pockets.I'm afraid of getting locked in with no key in the door to get out.

 

[Izzy]

Oh yes. I've given up!! Teeth, spectacles, wallet, keys etc etc. our Sky remote went missing for ages. I bought a replacement and the original turned up the next week.

 

[1954]

Oh dear don't know if hidden or lost! All I know is I have spent far too long spending looking for them!

She went out with Golden Boy, oh sorry he is now Platinum Boy with wings and I looked in draws she doesn't see, cupboards, socks which are in our bedroom as are all her clothes, kitchen, bins, under mattress's, under her chair and now I give up. I am exhausted by life never mind looking for things she has done things with

Oh well on to the next faze xx

 

[1954]

Oh yes. I've given up!! Teeth, spectacles, wallet, keys etc etc. our Sky remote went missing for ages. I bought a replacement and the original turned up the next week.

Its not easy is it?

 

[limafoxtrot]

Oh yes know how you feel. Mum lost her bank book earlier in the year. A carer took her to the bank & she got a new one. I went home to see Mum, was looking for some keys she had lost & found the "lost" bank book in the new shoe cupboard we'd bought her. Funnily enough in the shoe cupboard were, chocolates, paper tissues amongst other things & only a couple of pairs of shoes. Unfortunately, Mum still had the old bank book but has now lost the replacement. Keys are still missing

 

[sarahp]

Hi all not been on for a while but back to have a quick look in on you all.

Yes, I have decided to definitely give up searching! Because I honestly think I'm the one with AD, I'm hunting that much, I can be stood in one place and it can be snaffled from under my nose and lost forever! Although I say that but it bugs and intrigues me that much I have to find it lol.

I've bought that many sky remotes I can't tell you, one day we will have 3 in the lounge the next none!! It's all the same things as everyone else has already said, keys!!!! (I've been locked in), money, bank cards, clothes (of mine too) leave my clothes on the landing and by morning she's been up in the night and gone by am, my OH's belts, brand new pair of specially fitted £90 pair of shoes that never turned up?? That still bugs me to this day but must have been thrown away because it was months ago now, i even rang every local charity shop in case they had found their way there, all sorts. Put it this way I'm putting mum forward for hiding the Easter eggs in the egg hunt next year, think the kids will be kept busy for eons, because her hiding places are unreal.

Sarah ) xx

 

[1954]

Hi all not been on for a while but back to have a quick look in on you all.

Yes, I have decided to definitely give up searching! Because I honestly think I'm the one with AD, I'm hunting that much, I can be stood in one place and it can be snaffled from under my nose and lost forever! Although I say that but it bugs and intrigues me that much I have to find it lol.

I've bought that many sky remotes I can't tell you, one day we will have 3 in the lounge the next none!! It's all the same things as everyone else has already said, keys!!!! (I've been locked in), money, bank cards, clothes (of mine too) leave my clothes on the landing and by morning she's been up in the night and gone by am, my OH's belts, brand new pair of specially fitted £90 pair of shoes that never turned up?? That still bugs me to this day but must have been thrown away because it was months ago now, i even rang every local charity shop in case they had found their way there, all sorts. Put it this way I'm putting mum forward for hiding the Easter eggs in the egg hunt next year, think the kids will be kept busy for eons, because her hiding places are unreal.

Sarah ) xx

Sorry but that is so funny I love the egg hunt

 

[Witzend]

MIL has 'lost' her brush and comb. She keeps them in her handbag......always. They went missing a couple of days ago. She never takes her handbag out as I don't see any reason for her to. I have given her my one and only brush. I don't brush my hair as it is extremely curly and fragile and breaks easily

Anyway my question is does anyone just give up on looking for things ferretted away? I have just spent ages looking EVERYWHERE normal and abnormal and can't find her brush and comb!

xx

WEll, must say I'd have LOVED to give up, often, when we had FIL living with us - but no chance - he'd go mad until we found whatever it was. I well remember one night it was nearly midnight and we were dying to get to bed, we'd already been looking for whatever it was for ages. FIL was wound right up, saying 'I - GO - CRAZY!' - because of the frustration. And for once I exploded and yelled back, 'We're going bloody crazy too!'
He was an obsessive 'hider'.
Thank heaven I rarely had all this to-do with my mother.

I think it was his bank books. He carried them round all the time and would hide them about once in two days, often in, among or behind books. And we have an awful lot of books in this house...

 

[Izzy]

Oh! Bank books!! I had forgotten about these! My mum lived with us and lost her son a regular basis. I could never give upon that. They had to be found!!!!

 

[Onlyme]

MIL used to hide things then ring up in a state because someone had been in her house and taken her belongings.

 

[Witzend]

Oh! Bank books!! I had forgotten about these! My mum lived with us and lost her son a regular basis. I could never give upon that. They had to be found!!!!

Hope you didn't have long nocturnal hunts too!

Thing is FIL's bbs were defunct anyway - OH had had POA for quite a while. But he still 'had' to have them. he carried them around in a crackly tesco's bag inside an old tartan shopping bag and was constantly taking them out - even the crackling of that bag started to drive me bonkers.

But he eventually went to BIL and SIL for a few days to give me a break and because of the hiding aggro BIL took the bag away and told him it was lost. Must say I thought it very callous at the time, but in fact after a very few days he forgot all about it. Talk about phew!!!

 

[Witzend]

MIL used to hide things then ring up in a state because someone had been in her house and taken her belongings.

one of the things that really told me my mother had dementia and wasn't just 'getting a bit more forgetful' - I was probably in denial because I couldn't face it again after FIL - was when she started insisting that someone had stolen things that nobody would nick anyway, like a rubber band that had 'definitely' been lying on the kitchen table...

 

[1954]

Awful as it sounds we have taken things away from MIL i.e. bus pass (she can't go anywhere without us), keys (she doesn't need them anyway as she is never going home), money (she doesn't need any as we buy all she needs/wants except scotch!) and other things too. Amazingly she has forgotten them which I am grateful for as it was distressing for her at first, all which I suppose is showing her dementia is getting worse. But she loses earrings, bracelets, pants if I am stupid enough to leave them out early in the day! and ferrets out things away if we are not watching her 24/7!

 

[Linbrusco]

So far I Have learnt not to give Mum anything new, or anything smaller than her hand.
3 prs of earrngs I bought her for Mothers Day have gone missing.
A new pr of nail clippers have gone missing, and she is still trying to find $50 (GBP 25) from 4 mths ago.

She constantly loses her glasses and glasses case. it's bright green!
We manage to find them but I have a spare pair at my house.
I have taken the cheque book, credit cards, passports and important papers.
Mum is left with her cash card, which funnily enough never loses and always remembers her PIN. I leave a small amount of money in her account.
To take it away would really devastate her, because up until a year ago she always handled her & Dad finances.
Dad has never ever had a card. He's technologically challenged