My father died some 12 years ago. He didn't have dementia but he was blind and very deaf, and had a massive stroke from which we were told there was no hope of recovery. He never opened his eyes after the stroke, simply passed away over a period of 48 hours in hospital.
I sat with him, and talked about life, and how much we all loved him. I was holding his hand, of course, but there was no response. Until I mentioned his granddaughters, that is!
I said A sends her love, she is doing her finals and you know she'd be here if she could. Dad suddenly squeezed my hand so tight, it was extraordinary. When I'd got over the shock, I talked to him about my other daughter. Same response!
That squeezing was the only communication from dad in that time, but it has always convinced me that he could hear me, and that he knew we loved him, and were there as a family for him....Dad couldn't even open his eyes, but he still managed to connect. The equivalent, perhaps, of eye contact.
Now that granddaughter A is getting married in two weeks, mum is in residential care and we are clearing her flat. I asked A is there anything she wants? Her reply: a photograph of nanny and grandpa on their wedding day in 1946, and she wants nothing else.
Gg, I believe that people can hear and communicate in the direst of circumstances, and that family links can stay strong even through the generations
Wishing you all the best
Lindy xx