looking for some suggestions here. My brother and I care for our mum who on top of many illnesses has vascular dementia. Was diagnosed 12months ago and we are in a period of diminishing changes? in her health.
we have a niece who rings most days. The said niece is the daughter of another brother whose family have walked away from mum on n every way: no care nor contact ?. This other brother passed away at the beginning of the year with pancreatic cancer. At this point in our relationship with him and his family we were told not to attend the funeral ( threatened with violence if we did: police aware) and that was that! No contact since. There is a lot of ill feeling from this family and a lot that I won’t divulge as it’s family stuff and involves accusations ( one being that I was responsible for my brother dying of pancreatic cancer and my SIL accused me of abusing my mum and we had to deal with that as an official issue.
However, going back to the niece ( one of 3 siblings from the family who have no contact with their grandma). She can be as nice as pie on the phone sometimes but occasionally has a rant at mum ( her grandma). It’s sad to hear and we have had to put safeguarding measures in place because of her behaviour. This is sad but mum is our priority. This family do not know mum has vascular dementia. Mum, at the diagnosis, specifically asked us not to tell them.
But Mum is getting worse.
Should we tell this niece about the dementia or just leave it? Thankyou
we have a niece who rings most days. The said niece is the daughter of another brother whose family have walked away from mum on n every way: no care nor contact ?. This other brother passed away at the beginning of the year with pancreatic cancer. At this point in our relationship with him and his family we were told not to attend the funeral ( threatened with violence if we did: police aware) and that was that! No contact since. There is a lot of ill feeling from this family and a lot that I won’t divulge as it’s family stuff and involves accusations ( one being that I was responsible for my brother dying of pancreatic cancer and my SIL accused me of abusing my mum and we had to deal with that as an official issue.
However, going back to the niece ( one of 3 siblings from the family who have no contact with their grandma). She can be as nice as pie on the phone sometimes but occasionally has a rant at mum ( her grandma). It’s sad to hear and we have had to put safeguarding measures in place because of her behaviour. This is sad but mum is our priority. This family do not know mum has vascular dementia. Mum, at the diagnosis, specifically asked us not to tell them.
But Mum is getting worse.
Should we tell this niece about the dementia or just leave it? Thankyou