a manicure once a month!!!
im speechless what an insult,

im so sorry your distressed id like to say i think you and all carers out there are worth theyre wait in gold.
big {{{hug}}}
xxx

 

Hiya Connie,
Were you really surprised? Doesn't this just confirm what you knew? I am sorry it has made you feel bad, you have enough on your plate as it is.

You know that you are worth more, to Lionel, your family and not least to us on here. The thing is if SS started making awards to carers, the coffers would be empty. Ths system cannot afford to acknowledge your worth, just as it cannot afford to acknowledge that AD sufferers should have funded care.
Connie, let it go, don't let it eat you up.
Sending a Hug.
Love from
Amy

 

social services

I am so sorry for the distress you are going through. You have enough to contend with. Social services in my opinion are only geared up to help drug addicts and alcoholics they dont have time for anyone else let alone some-one who is saving them money by doing the careing themselves. Dont let them get to you.
Janette

 

Well done for putting pen to paper, Connie - I hope it has made you feel just a little bit better.
I am sure you don't really need SS or anyone else to confirm what a priceless job you are doing in caring for Lionel. Sadly, you may have to wait until you get your reward in Heaven .......
Please let us know if/when you get a reply!

Chin up, tomorrow just may be a little better.

 

Hi Connie

Just to let you know that i would not expect anything better from SS.
You do what you do for love and because your a very caring person, in my book that makes you very special.

Don't beat yourself up over a system that knows no better.

Take care
Alex

 

Grrr..!!!

Typical SS..! So sorry they've 'got to you' Connie, it's something you don't need right now. You do an amazing job with love and affection for your darling Lionel.
Well done though for sending the letter, I sometimes think we are too slow to complain but it's all such an effort when we have many more important tasks to hand (like saving SS money.... )
Take care and I hope tomorrow's a better day for you.

 

hi connie,

keep that chin up gal......
we all, (TP family) know what a "fantastic worth" you really are, you`ve got great spirit....

"don`t let em grind ya down"

jakky
x

 

You wouldn't believe it if you read it in the papers ...

Connie, if the manicurist did a really good job, you could scratch someone's eyes out!

Things like this are so exasperating; talk about misguided priorities.

Love

 

Connie, it's not just own self-worth but your SELFLESS-worth which is priceless...

Just sending a hug, Love Karen, x

 

Dear Connie,
The sad thing is that help from statutory bodies comes in little boxes. If you tick the right box you will get that little cube of help. Unfortunately its a mass produced solution - one size that fits very few. I guess you don't need (physical) help on a regular basis with the shopping or laundry or making beds or the other 1001 household tasks. But there is no provision for the occasions when you are so dog tired you want to howl, no one on the end of the phone when you are awake in the early hours of the morning. There is very little responsive help - its got to be planned so far in advance to organise the staffing it fails to meet the need.

Some of the things I've learnt whilst looking after my hubby is to appreciate the smallest offer from friends and neighbours and take them up on it. The timing is likely to be far more flexible.

I hope your letter makes THEM reconsider what help and support they need to be offering. Hope you receive some more suitable support from another source.

Is it any wonder that NICE can deem the AD drugs as being not cost effective when home care costs the Government nothing in your case and all the other scenarios of family providing care.

Sorry don't mean to go rambling on - I'm so angry on your behalf - but sadly not surprised. Just keep going the best you can.

love Finnian

 

worth more

Connie bless you YOU ARE WORTH MORE YOU ARE DOING A FANTASTIC JOB I PUT MY ARMS AROUND YOU I WISH I COULD HELP MORE
YOU WERE SO KIND TO ME A FEW WEEKS AGO AS WAS AMY AND MANY OTHERS

LOVE Bel x

 

I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time Connie and that you didn't get your much needed break today. Will you try to put something in place to replace the SS carers? I know when my mum was still at home with my dad it was very difficult. The carers would only come at certain times which weren't always convenient and unless we were there at the time we couldn't be sure of what they had done. Obviously if we were there then it defeated the object of paying for someone to come

I hope things get easier for you and Lionel. You deserve a break.

 

Can you face writing another letter?

Hi Connie. I am sorry that your experience of Social Services has been so poor. I feel a bit embarrassed to have a social work background. I got out of mainstream work before it got like this. I work for a charity, and whilst money is very tight there too, we treat people well. Can you face writing a letter to the Director of Adult Services, and the councillor who chairs the Adult Service? Copy the same one. I think it worth telling them why the service was inappropriate and asking if they plan to have specialist teams to meet the people in the community who have dementia and their carers. Your very bad experience highlights why flexibility is needed for Lionel and for you as a carer. The manicure fiasco is dreadful. They are not meeting your needs at all are they? And they need telling this and why. Yes money is always an issue, but you contribute to the system in all sorts of ways and have already saved them tons of money with your unpaid caring role, and paying your dues for years. So have your say about the social worker and make sure it gets heard. If you make it an official complaint they have to investigate all you say and reply in certain timescales, and you will get feedback of some sort. It won't just go in the bin at least. Can your local AD group advocate for you too and take up the issues for you do you think? Big hugs to you, you must have felt so alone in the role of carer whilst this happened. xxx

 

Connie
good advice from Sophia.
You know that I have been through all the official complaint procedure,and won!!
Please do something about it,you know I am here for you if you need help.
Norman

 

Well Connie,
Earlier on I tried to send a post saying sometimes just knowing that we are being heard is sufficient, even if there is nothing that can be done. Then I was going to say 'Pleased that your behaving and Lionel can have a good day'. Then something went strange with my connection and I couldn't connect to a server. And now you've had a difficult end to the day, but remember the '100%improvement' that the rest of it had been!!
Love Amy