Difficulty taking "patient" to appointments

[MAIKET]

Hi

Hope everyone is safe and well.

My girlfriends father has dementia and having read the great information here and from medics, he is in the stage where the patient is child-like and clingy.

His whole faith is in my girlfriend. She is struggling to cope with the look of fear and anxiety he has in different situations.

One such scenario is he is needing to have some unrelated surgery but when she is explaining it is needed and reassuring him, she can see fear and anxiety and this is making her feel guilty for trying to make him have the surgery. His main fear is that both of his parents passed away in a hospital and thats why he doesnt want to go.

The question is two-fold:

- Has anyone experienced this kind of scenario where reassuring someone in a state of anxiety or fear is proving very difficult....

- How does one overcome the guilty feeling when you see your loved one in a state of fear or anxiety, however, knowing you are doing the right thing for them.

Thank you in advance

 

[Sarasa]

Welcome to Dementia Support Forum @MAIKET. It might be an idea for your girlfriend to talk to her father's doctors about the surgery and how essential it is. Anaesthetics and hospital stays can hasten someone with dementia's decline so worth thoroughly discussing it first. Having said that my mother had a fairly minor hernia operation when her dementia was beginning to really impact on her ability to live independently and I don't think the op and the brief hospital stay made things any worse.
This is a very friendly and supportive community and I'm sure others will be along shortly with their experiences.