Diagnosis of father

[Alz_H]

Hey everyone,

My father got diagnosed with alzheimer's a few months ago and I am struggling to come to terms with the thought of not having him around for the most part of my life. I am twenty years old as my father was already 60 when I was born. I have always known in a way that he would for example not be around to meet his grandchildren, but did not think that it would happen this quickly. Since then his condition has rapidly deteriorated as we were forced to have him stay at a care home and it has become almost impossible for him to remember details like the day of the week. Of course I am aware that this is only the beginning, but he had always been such an independent person with his intelligence and mind being his strongest asset.

Has anyone experienced something similar and any advice on how to accept and process a parent's illness while still young?

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Alz_H, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum a friendly and supportive place.
Whilst I don't have experience of a parent having dementia, I do have experience of the emotions you are experiencing that may be part of what is known as anticipatory grief. It is something we carers have to work through.
There is an AS Factsheet that deals with these issues. Despite it's title it isn't just about death so you may find it useful to have a read. Here's a link to it https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites...oads/factsheet_grief_loss_and_bereavement.pdf

 

[Duggies-girl]

Hey everyone,

My father got diagnosed with alzheimer's a few months ago and I am struggling to come to terms with the thought of not having him around for the most part of my life. I am twenty years old as my father was already 60 when I was born. I have always known in a way that he would for example not be around to meet his grandchildren, but did not think that it would happen this quickly. Since then his condition has rapidly deteriorated as we were forced to have him stay at a care home and it has become almost impossible for him to remember details like the day of the week. Of course I am aware that this is only the beginning, but he had always been such an independent person with his intelligence and mind being his strongest asset.

Has anyone experienced something similar and any advice on how to accept and process a parent's illness while still young?

I can't imagine what it is like to be so young and have to deal with this awful illness. I am 61 and dad is 88 and that is bad enough. I can't give you any advice other than this is not anyone's fault and certainly not yours. You just have to make the most of it and try not to let it take over your life because it will if you let it. There are some other young people on here but I am not sure how you can find them. I thought that there was talk of making a forum especially for young people but I can't seem to find it so maybe not.

Do keep posting on here because you will get some good advice. I really don't know how I would have coped without this place, it has has helped me more than any health professional that we have seen up to now.

 

[Amethyst59]

Hello, @Alz_H, my children were a little younger than you when my late husband died after being ill for some years, and both of them visited a counsellor for quite a while. My son found it helpful, my daughter less so, but I think she was unlucky with the counsellor she had. Might this be something you would consider?