Devastated at rapid deterioration

[laineyb]

Hi it's been a while since I've been on here, mum has had dementia for probably 10 years now, she is in a brilliant home who's care is excellent, she has been having myoclonic seizures for the past year and a half, these haven't been that major she was on epilim for a while but was taken of it when docs prescribed too much and she ended up in hospital with an overdose of meds, she has been fine for last six months but last week had a massive seizure and was resuscitated in the ambulance she was sent home the next day as I've found that hospital can't really cope with dementia patients, she then had a fall on Monday I have moved house (I am mum to 2 aged 9and 10 and married to a lovely man) on the Friday 60 miles from mum, so feeling huge guilt that I am not there for her, went to see her yesterday and she can't really speak tho she tries to, looks completely vacant and is wheelchair bound for her own safety, I am absolutely devastated at the decline in my mum, I always thought I was prepared for the inevitable but am so not, as when I saw her I couldn't stop crying I have always said it's not about me but about my mum but finding this really hard.

 

[Thrippy]

Very sorry to hear this. It's so upsetting to see them in that state. Personally, hospital (NHS) was the best place for my mum, she was very well looked after and you should insist that she be kept in or some kind of rehab at least.

 

[Ash148]

So very sorry to hear this. There is really no preparation for this stage.

 

[sunray]

Here hospital seems a bleak place for someone who has had a seizure and has late stage dementia. With Ray they used to strip him of his clothes and he would lay with half a sheet over him, often unwashed and unfed. So the CH he was in had to learn to deal with his continuing seizures. At least in the CH he was surrounded by familiar voices even when he was semi-conscious and couldn't answer them.

Yes it is sad at the end of their lives, and no we cannot handle it as well as we thought we would. But so many have been where you are now so we are all wishing you strength and courage as you share this part of your Mum's journey.

 

[laineyb]

Thank you for your replies, I am feeling much better about my mum at the moment as I've always said it's about mum and not me, she is in a really good home where they are willing to look after her until the end, there is no way I would want her to spend her final days in hospital as they are unable to cope with her, it seems to me that as soon as they realise she has severe dementia
They want her out of there as soon as possible. Anyway sorry for ranting, going to see mum on weds so looking forward to that.


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