Hi, my 82 year old father suffered a stroke in January 22. There is a strange story behind this, we lost our mum to cancer 28 years ago and at that time dad live in London whilst we lived in kent. After a few months dad moved near us, he then found a female neighbour who would come in and clean and iron for him. He was a socially outgoing person and loved his time with the Freemasons. That said part of the social side is a ladies night, very quickly the lady that started off cleaning and ironing became his partner in every sense except living together. They both still enjoyed their own space and that bit of independence, dad spent less and less time with us until it got to the point where he never had any time for his family. 20 years on and his partner had started to show signs of Alzheimer’s, dad denied it and carried on as normal spending most of his day at her house and refusing to ask for any help from her daughter. Due to his diabetes, he was on metformin, one of the side effects however is erectile issues, so without talking to anyone he started to cut down on his medication. One night whilst staying over night at his partners, he suffered a stroke caused by his sugar levels being so high, unfortunately his partner could not remember how to use the phone, so he lay on the floor for 8 hours until her daughter dropped in. He was then immediately taken off to hospital by ambulance, luckily he survived but was diagnosed with vascular dementia. It took him a few weeks to learn to walk and talk normally again, however a huge chunk of memory had also disappeared. He had now also become very selfish and self absorbed, only wanting to see and be with his partner all the time. He now only wanted to live with her full time and kept on and on about getting married to her. Unfortunately, due to her Alzheimer’s, she was not capable of making her own decision to marry or not, due to this her daughter would not allow them to marry as her mum had previously expressed a decision not to marry again. This did not stop dad from continually asking why they could not get married, 8 months on and his partner was hospitalised due to her health taking a turn for the worse. Sadly she passed away after a couple of weeks in hospital leaving dad devastated and heart broken. To aid dad we offered for him to stay with us for a few weeks whilst the final arrangements were organised. After the funeral he spent a lot of time and money on a commemorative bench and a miniature urn for some of her ashes. My sister thought it would be a good idea if dad went on a small 10 day cruise to get out and meet people, following the cruise he come back saying he had met a lady and they were going to keep in touch. Within a month they were texting and talking a few times every day, they had also arranged for him to go stay with her for a couple of weeks in Cromer Norfolk.
We’re now in a situation 4 months from meeting this lady where dad lives with her permanently, they have booked 2 more cruises, December this year and march 24 and he has now told the family they are now getting married on the cruise in December. I have tried to explain to him that remarrying will override any wishes he has in his will and also his wishes regarding his funeral as his new wife will automatically have claim to his house and entire estate, also his final service and resting place will also be her choosing. All he says is “but I want to marry her”.
I had no idea until yesterday where this lady lived and we haven’t even met her. I know from a couple of phone calls that this lady is 2 years older than myself, has also been widowed in the last year and has no children. Yes I am suspicious regarding this ladies motives as she is 24 years younger and originally stated she had no interest in re-marrying. I have arranged to go and see them in the next couple of days to talk things through.
What has happened and why has he became so obsessed with getting married? Especially to someone he hardly even knows.
Legally I know there is nothing we can do to stop him making this huge leap but it is so worrying and frustrating.
We’re now in a situation 4 months from meeting this lady where dad lives with her permanently, they have booked 2 more cruises, December this year and march 24 and he has now told the family they are now getting married on the cruise in December. I have tried to explain to him that remarrying will override any wishes he has in his will and also his wishes regarding his funeral as his new wife will automatically have claim to his house and entire estate, also his final service and resting place will also be her choosing. All he says is “but I want to marry her”.
I had no idea until yesterday where this lady lived and we haven’t even met her. I know from a couple of phone calls that this lady is 2 years older than myself, has also been widowed in the last year and has no children. Yes I am suspicious regarding this ladies motives as she is 24 years younger and originally stated she had no interest in re-marrying. I have arranged to go and see them in the next couple of days to talk things through.
What has happened and why has he became so obsessed with getting married? Especially to someone he hardly even knows.
Legally I know there is nothing we can do to stop him making this huge leap but it is so worrying and frustrating.
