Dementia Sufferers taken to court

[technotronic]

Hi AlsoConfused

Read with interest your message re the 'dementia aware police officer' that you mentioned. I didn't think that there were such officers in the forces, the PC that came here himself didn't seem to worried about my wife's dementia that he knew she had from the first case & was taking medication for then and now, as he seemed to think the first time he visited us with the latest trouble, that she would understand what his saying to her that 'you do understand you're under caution still' to her, when he hadn't even cautioned her at the beginning of his visit. The second visit he made it more aware that he knew who he should be speaking to, myself, that would understand what was going on n what he had come round for, as he spoke directly to me n not my wife this time.
I know it was for legal reasons, it seemed stupid n pointless getting my wife to sign a statement previously at the police station, n to sign the agreement on this second visit, when she has no comprehension of what she is signing n what for!!


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[tre]

Sounds good news regarding the GP and practice manager. Our practice manager was not very helpful at the start but that has all turned around now since there is a dementia champion at the surgery. I am not sure whether all surgeries have these but might be worth asking.
Hopefully, once they realise you wife is unwell and that might explain some of her behaviour, if indeed she has done the things they allege, then the police will take a more compassionate view.
Tre

 

[AlsoConfused]

Read with interest your message re the 'dementia aware police officer' that you mentioned. I didn't think that there were such officers in the forces

I think there may be quite a few dementia aware officers around, after all the police are the first to be called out when someone with dementia goes missing.

My Mum and Dad's local police seem to be generally excellent. Examples:-

- the PC who interviewed my Mum after she'd gone missing when the temperature was minus zero and there was snow on the ground. I think he needed to find out how vulnerable Mum was, how likely she was to do it again and whether she was being properly cared for and supervised. He was gentle with her and with Dad, made Mum feel she was respected and was very thorough.

- the PC at the police station who listened to my Mum's complaint about a road hump being dangerous because she hadn't noticed it. He listened politely and agreed with her; Mum went on her way happily convinced she'd got "authority" to do as she wanted them to do.

- the CID team (doing a meticulous house to house investigation of a local burglary) who immediately agreed to my request that they not visit our house as Mum would be terrified by the thought of burglars and of course wouldn't be able to tell them anything about anything.

 

[technotronic]

I think there may be quite a few dementia aware officers around, after all the police

Hopefully they will be more sympathetic than the officer that we had, his attitude when i questioned what he said had been found during the last incident, was "if you like we can still take it to court", namely he said she threw rubbish and a bottle into the next doors garden, they never found a bottle n on CCTV it was to indistinct to see what it was!
Have been on their police website to find details of their email address and it turns out that he's a bit of an Anti social Behaviour zealot by the sounds of it, not surprising then his attitude when he came around to give us details of the agreement ( which i'm not sure is quite official, as when i phoned up to leave a message for the PC concerned, the person i spoke to seemed to query the mention of an agreement).
Anyway, since my wife's visit to the doctors, she has been on the tablets every day, and i am with her every second when she ventures outside, so that the neighbour can't make up any more lies about her.
i had reason to go and see the neighbour two weeks ago, as she's bought two new dogs, and recently twice they've got out of her front door, and ended up in our back garden, much to the consternation n worry of our cats out there, after the second time, i felt that was enough! i popped around the same evening and knocked on the door, it opens and only a head pops around it, i asked her nicely if she could make sure whoever walks her dogs if they can keep them on a lead, as its twice now they've ended up in our back garden.
She said that the dog had got out the front door when people visited there, that was all, and besides you got a bloody cheek coming around here after what she's done to us then she closed the door on me. the moment she did that i shouted so she could hear, "that if it happened again, i'd call then police on her!!"
If she can use the police to settle any scores, then so can i!
Touch wood its been quiet since then n no dogs turned up in our back garden since.

 

[LadyA]

Hopefully they will be more sympathetic than the officer that we had, his attitude when i questioned what he said had been found during the last incident, was "if you like we can still take it to court", namely he said she threw rubbish and a bottle into the next doors garden, they never found a bottle n on CCTV it was to indistinct to see what it was!
Have been on their police website to find details of their email address and it turns out that he's a bit of an Anti social Behaviour zealot by the sounds of it, not surprising then his attitude when he came around to give us details of the agreement ( which i'm not sure is quite official, as when i phoned up to leave a message for the PC concerned, the person i spoke to seemed to query the mention of an agreement).
Anyway, since my wife's visit to the doctors, she has been on the tablets every day, and i am with her every second when she ventures outside, so that the neighbour can't make up any more lies about her.
i had reason to go and see the neighbour two weeks ago, as she's bought two new dogs, and recently twice they've got out of her front door, and ended up in our back garden, much to the consternation n worry of our cats out there, after the second time, i felt that was enough! i popped around the same evening and knocked on the door, it opens and only a head pops around it, i asked her nicely if she could make sure whoever walks her dogs if they can keep them on a lead, as its twice now they've ended up in our back garden.
She said that the dog had got out the front door when people visited there, that was all, and besides you got a bloody cheek coming around here after what she's done to us then she closed the door on me. the moment she did that i shouted so she could hear, "that if it happened again, i'd call then police on her!!"
If she can use the police to settle any scores, then so can i!
Touch wood its been quiet since then n no dogs turned up in our back garden since.

Golly, techno - what a time you've had! As if you don't have enough to deal with, with caring for your wife without the neighbours from hell. I'm so sorry for you both. So many of us can rely on neighbours to keep an eye for our loved ones if they go outside - even if it's only in the garden - and I know so many people with parents who had dementia who were actually originally alerted to how bad things were getting, by concerned neighbours who were looking out for their parents and had been helping them out until they got concerned about their safety.

Hope things at least stay quiet and you and your wife have no more trouble. Is there anything you can do to stop the dogs getting into your garden, for your own peace of mind?

 

[technotronic]

Update:Good Behaviour Order

Well thankfully that has been out of the way for quite a few months now, having finished on 29th of July this year, n touch wood have only had one complaint from neighbor next door (joined on to us) was when we dozed off in front of tv with it quite loud because of my hearing problem. A PCSO popped round n let us know about the complaint, he was quite nice about it n even suggested reason to why it was too loud to us, "I know you fell asleep in front of tv with it too loud" (which was true anyway), to which I agreed with.
All he said was " Keep it down a bit n there'll be no problems" to which I agreed to n off he went. Since then the tv has been a lot lower as am making more use of sub titles now Anything to keep the peace!
Front garden has been left to itself I'm afraid, as if I do anything to it she has to be out there with me so can keep a check on her, but that brings its own problems once again with fear of her repeating what she'd been accused (wrongly) of doing. So it can go hang for now, give neighbor something horrible to look at each time she looks out of her front window

 

[canary]

Im glad to hear that things have settled down withe neighbours..May I suggest something? OH has hearing problems and uses a neck loop to listen to TV which works even with the sound on mute. Mind you, it would only work if you have hearing aids.

 

[malomm]

Im glad to hear that things have settled down withe neighbours..May I suggest something? OH has hearing problems and uses a neck loop to listen to TV which works even with the sound on mute. Mind you, it would only work if you have hearing aids.

Oh we have downstairs neighbours who threaten mayhem, legal action, lawyers, the police and anyhting else they can think of if they can hear our bedroom TV. Solution simples. Wireless headphones that work on infra red beam. Dead cheap.
keep smiling,
malomm