Dementia diagnosis and where to go from here.

Discussion in 'Recently diagnosed and early stages of dementia' started by Tzannath, Oct 6, 2015.

  1. Tzannath

    Tzannath Registered User

    Oct 6, 2015
    Didcot, Oxfordshire
    My father who is 85 was diagnosed yesterday which we were half expecting due to some erratic behaviour and mood swings. It has been a tough journey just to get him to appointments for tests but at least we have arrived at the diagnosis point. He is very stubborn and we couldn't even get him to give up his car keys yesterday as we were told that his GP now has the power to inform the DVLA and revoke his driving licence. As the diagnosis was only yesterday we have to wait for action to be made by his Doctor. He doesn't believe a Dr can do this but I know he's ill and is not thinking logically. He has been diagnosed with moderate dementia so has had it for a while by the sound of it. He still has periods of normality thank god but also has moments of complete irrationality.

    Can anyone please help and tell me where I go from here. He used to deal with all the paperwork and bank details but the family are worried that he will now not be capable of dealing with financial matters. He hasn't set up 'Powers of Attorney' so this is the next avenue I am looking at. My mother is also 85 but she hasn't a clue about bills and finance so we need to help her and find out if we can get something legal set up but searching for information it doesn't appear to be a simple process. It only mentions that the person with the illness must be of sound mind when they set up powers of attorney which has not been actioned.
  2. Selinacroft

    Selinacroft Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    Hi Tzanneth
    I am in a similar position to you caring for 89 year old father who is in denial that he has any problems. He was also very reluctant to give up driving licence and I had to get gp to help me persuade him a year or so back as he still thought he could drive but gp said his mechanical skills were starting to fail-biomechanics not car mechanics!
    iDad had the ACE memory test and got 66 out of 100 but still waiting for diagnosis. Do you know how much your father scored?
    Dad is stubborn, grumpy, sleepy, confused, can't hear much and very poor mobility. I am not sure if you would call this early or late stage dementia. I am hoping to learn more from everyone on here.
  3. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    North West
    Hi Selena. It struck me that all the adjectives you use to describe your dad (apart, perhaps, from 'confused') could describe some other 89 year olds who don't have dementia. In fact, you describe my father-in-law quite accurately.:) So it may be that the dementia is still at an early stage. I think it's very hard to tell as people get to your dad's age. As most people find, it's best to try to concentrate on anything that might help and try to take one day at a time.
  4. karen1967

    karen1967 Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    My mum had stroke and she was able to agree once the solicitor had explained it and he was happy she understood, my mother in law has also given us Power of attorney due to having some understanding as to why it was needed although we new something was wrong and she had not been diagnosed at the time, she was yesterday
  5. Optomistic

    Optomistic Registered User

    Jul 24, 2014
    My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimers 14 months ago and like your mum i didnt know much about running the financial side. We went to a solicitor and i have got power of attorney with my two sons. My husband agreed to this and was capable of making this decission. I now sort all the direct debits out and the bank but he assists me when he can. Its suprising how you get used to coping when you have to im far more confident now than i used to be.
  6. henfenywfach

    henfenywfach Registered User

    May 23, 2013
    As a carer for my dad who has dementia...For many of us the diagnosis is something that follows difficult times that have already happened.
    The benefit of a diagnosis is that your father should have a flag on his records and the gp can register him on the national dementia register
    This is for his and yours safety. If the police ever need to assist. They ll have important info and so will the doctors.
    Generally social services will need to be asked to come and complete an assessment of needs for your dad. You and any other carers like your mum should have a carers assessment to. Even of you don't need help currently.
    The dvla will write to the consultant for info on the diagnosis and the decision makers at the dvla will decide whether to stop or continue with the licence. There are people with dementia that are allowed to drive. Individual cases!
    My dad was stopped. To my huge relief!!! The stress was unbearable!
    The legal stuff is an absolute must.
    For both parents. Capacity at that particular moment to understand is required as some can fluctuate.
    Best wishes
  7. Bessieb

    Bessieb Registered User

    Jun 2, 2014

    re. the driving issue.... I had the same problem with my Dad, who is 85, last year. Had been diagnosed with AD but had no insight into this and had forgotten the diagnosis. Every time someone suggested he needed to give up driving he thought it a ridiculous suggestion and wouldn't entertain it. He clearly shouldn't have been on the road so we knew we had to do something.
    In the end we got the GP round and told him together than his eyesight wasn't good enough to drive. And he accepted this. A physical reason rather than a dementia condition was much easier for him to accept than the AD diagnosis which he couldn't understand. We took his car keys then and there and when he asked or got annoyed about it but we reminded him about his eyes and he said 'fine'. I sold the car as soon as possible. He still tells people now that he can't drive because his eyes 'started to go'.
    Everyone is different but just a suggestion that might work. Find a physical condition to blame it on!
  8. Priyavk1

    Priyavk1 Registered User

    Oct 28, 2015
    Newly Diagnosed with Alzimiers

    Hi all

    I'm new to this forum.

    My mother at the age of 76 has been diagnosed with Alzimiers last month.

    The diagnosis confirmed our worst fears.

    We have a follow up appointment at the memory clinic.
    What should we be doing now if anything? At the moment mum can cook, dress and bath herself. So I'm assuming she's at the early stages? However in the past she has experienced hallucinations so I'm not sure what stage this is.

    Any thoughts and ideas would be welcome.

    So glad I found this website of people who are sadly in my situation strength in numbers!


  9. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    Welcome to TP :)

    Do you Power of Attorney for your mum? If not now would be a good time to sort it.
  10. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    Hello Priyavk1 and welcome.

    Yes, the early stage is the time to get paperwork and officialdom sorted. If you havent done any of the following then now is the time to do it: POA (both financial and health and welfare), apply for Attendance Allowance (AA), apply for Council Tax exemption and if she lives alone make sure her bills are paid by SO/DD. If she is not able to fill in the AA form herself you can apply to become her DWP deputy so that you can fill it in for her and you can also then speak to DWP on her behalf.

    I would also find out what groups are local to you. Even in the early stages she might like to go to coffee mornings or "Singing for the Brain" and you can start to build up a network of support.

    LOU_JONES Registered User

    Nov 18, 2015
    Power of Attorney

    I wondered how easy getting the Power of Attorney was? My Grandmother was diagnosed last August, we completed the forms and took them to the doctor (GP) to sign and he said he wasn't happy and would speak to the 'memory clinic', since then my mum who is in contact with the doctor about tablets etc has been back and asked and he fobs her off.
    Can we just take her to a solicitor for this?
    My grandmother says she is happy for my granddad to have POA with me as an extra person. I already have POA for him.
    My grandmother is in early stages but she goes 'into orbit' when something changes at home - my granddad is in hospital and since he has been in she has been erratic in all she does and says.
  12. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    It would be easier if you got a friend or neighbour of hers who has known her for two years or more to sign as certificate provider. Doctors are notoriously iffy about it and solicitors can charge the earth.

    LOU_JONES Registered User

    Nov 18, 2015
    Even if she has already been diagnosed? is that allowed? She knows us and when I explain it's so that when she can't go to the bank and do her finances my granddad or me can do for her. She says yes ok that's fine.
  14. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    The point isn't any diagnosis, the point is the mental capacity to understand in the moment what she is signing. If she can do that, you are good to go. A certificate provider signs that they are satisfied about this.

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